


Cracked Candy Hearts

by vivilove



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Idiots in Love, It's not that long of a fic!, Loss of Parent(s), Moderately slow anyway, Pining Sansa, Pregnancy, Roommates, Slow Burn, Valentine's Day, jonsa baby, pining jon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-14 07:09:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13584903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivilove/pseuds/vivilove
Summary: Valentine's Day isn't all its cracked up to be as two young people discover over the course of several years.A series of not-so-good to down-right horrible Valentine's Days have Jon and Sansa sharing moments together from adolescence to their young adult years before realizing that love was always there waiting for them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kittykatknits](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykatknits/gifts).



> Tis the season to write some Valentine's Jonsa! I'm gifting this to kittykatknits for helping me work through my mountain of doubts as I write this (or just about anything.) I'll probably be bugging you about it more as I work to finish it, girl!
> 
>  
> 
> TW for this first chapter-Joffrey is a total dick as we all know so keep that in mind.

 

* * *

 

 

**Ages 13 and 11**

 

Jon ripped up the stupid card he’d bought. Valentine’s Day was really the dumbest thing anyway. He thought about chucking the heart-shaped box of chocolates as well but didn’t because…chocolate.

He heard some girls coming down the hall giggling together and hastily wiped his eyes before slamming his locker shut. He slipped down the science wing looking for a place to hide out for the next hour. He couldn’t face Life Science today with her there.

He’d already spent his lunch hour watching Val and Jarl hold hands under the table and whisper in each other’s ears. Val kept shooting him smug looks and he’d kept stoically staring at his plate at the next table, trying to pretend he couldn’t care less.

They were supposed to go to the school’s Valentine’s Day dance together tonight but he knew that wasn’t going to happen now. He hadn’t really wanted to go anyway. He was no dancer. He kept telling himself that, willing it to be true. Because he was not hurt by this…not one bit. Those tears in his eyes were due to dust.

They had ridden the bus home together all year. They got off at the same stop. They’d started talking around October and by December they were holding hands as he walked her to her house. Last month, they’d started kissing each other good-bye on her front porch. He knew Val had kissed other boys but Jon hadn’t cared. She was the first girl he’d ever kissed. He thought that meant something special. He was thirteen. What did he know?

Last Thursday afternoon, when both their moms were working late, she’d invited him inside her house for him to practice French kissing, she’d said. They’d only had about twenty minutes before her sister got home from volleyball practice but they’d made the most of those twenty minutes. She’d let him cup her breast through her shirt. She’d sucked on his neck and put her hand on him through his jeans and then laughed when he’d moaned.

It had been heavenly…but also very confusing. He wasn’t entirely sure what he felt for Val. He liked her and she was pretty but was this love? He wasn’t sure. He’d imagined it feeling differently. But, he’d be a liar if he said he hated what they were doing even if he felt guilty about sneaking around to cop a feel and kiss her when his mom thought he was doing his homework over at a friend’s house. His mom had seen the place on his neck that night. She’d kindly not confronted him with it but he knew she’d seen it.

But then Val had asked him to steal some cigarettes with her Friday afternoon when they were hanging out at Mr. Mormont’s store. He’d refused. Him and his mom didn’t have much but he was no thief. And Mr. Mormont had always been nice to him.

Val had been unavailable according to her sister when he’d called her house on Saturday. And then it snowed Sunday night and they’d missed Monday. So, he hadn’t thought too much about the fact she’d never called back or her interest in shoplifting or smoking until she sat down next to Jarl on the bus that Tuesday morning instead of him.

Their common acquaintances who sat towards the back of the bus with them had all looked surprised…and then rather amused by this development.

The day had not improved since then.

He’d confronted her after first period and she’d said they were through. Jon wondered how they could be through so fast when they’d barely just begun.

Normally, he would’ve shared his hurt and frustration with Robb. Unlike some boys, Robb wouldn’t laugh at him about it. They’d been friends since they were little. But Robb wasn’t here today, likely out sick. And, things had been strained between them since Jon had started hanging out with Val and her friends more the past month.

 _It’s her crowd. None of them are really my friends,_ he admitted to himself.

He missed Robb. He wound up hiding out in the boys’ restroom for ten minutes, his stomach twisting uncomfortably the entire time. His mom would be disappointed. He didn’t really want to miss science. He liked it.

And Val would suspect why he wasn’t there and then that might seem like she’d won something.

He shook his head and decided to go to class late. Mr. Luwin was nice. Maybe he’d not be too hard on him if he said he thought he was going to be sick and that’s why he was so late.

Unfortunately, Mr. Thorne saw him first. The vice principal always seemed to have a hard on for catching Jon doing something wrong…even though he rarely did anything all that wrong.

He was led to the office where he angrily listened in silence to a lecture about all the ways he was never going to amount to anything with his attitude. And then, he was sentenced to detention after school for a week. It wouldn’t start until tomorrow though so Jon grabbed his bookbag and stormed off to where the buses were loading.

 _This should be fun_ , he thought grimly, imagining spending the ride watching Val with Jarl.

He could walk home but it was nearly five miles and it _was_ February.

He chose a seat closer to the front where mostly sixth graders sat. He couldn’t face any more snickers at the back of the bus today. He caught a glimpse of her honey-blond hair passing by and looked resolutely out the window, wishing the bus would pull out already. 

He closed his eyes and counted to ten.

“Jon? May I sit with you?”

He glanced over his shoulder to see Sansa standing in the aisle. Robb’s little sister. Correction…Robb Stark’s pretty and popular little sister. Arya was messy hair, scabby knees and belly laughs. Sansa was polished nails, coordinated outfits and melodious giggles. She was perfect…even when she was kind of full of herself.

“Sure,” he said, scooting over.

He twisted the strap of his bookbag in his hand and kept his eyes cast downward. She smelled nice, like flowers or something. He discreetly sniffed his armpit. He decided he didn’t stink too bad after gym today.

Sansa was nice. She was just different than her sister. He’d known both Stark girls since they were practically babies. Hell, Arya _was_ a baby when he’d met Robb. He wasn’t quite sure why he’d always felt at ease with Arya and always felt a little out of his league around Sansa.

Even as a little girl, she was ladylike. And at eleven, she had this sophisticated air about her. At least to Jon she did even though she was two years younger than him.

He always felt too grimy to stand too close to her or hug her like he might Arya. And a lot of times, he got the impression she might think the same.

So, that begged the question, why did she ask to sit beside him today? She had lots of friends. Why was she asking to sit beside him instead of her usual crowd?

He looked at Sansa again…really looked this time. Her auburn hair was sleeked back into a neat braid that was thrown over one shoulder. She was wearing a pink sweater and black jeans under her puffy cream-colored jacket. Her lips had just a hint of gloss on them and her bookbag was tucked neatly in her lap. But her ordinarily bright blue eyes were puffy and red.

“S’everything okay?” he asked.

“Uh huh,” she answered quietly, plucking a loose thread from her knee and letting it fall to the floor.

He nodded and looked back out his window, watching the winter landscape roll by. She didn’t have to share with him. He had no plans to tell her about his day either.

But this was Robb’s little sister and everything was not okay. She kept looking over her shoulder and then turning back around. She was tense. He could feel it, like she was wound up in a ball.

Some girls in front of them would peer back at Sansa from time to time. They’d start laughing sometimes but it sounded all wrong. It sounded mean.

There was a loud sound from two rows back, like someone had purposely held up a textbook and let it fall to the floor. She jumped like a frightened hare.

“Sansa…what’s wrong?”

“I’m…just…” She looked over her shoulder again and then ducked down a bit, leaning into him. Jon leaned closer in response and tried not to notice the sweet smell of her strawberry scented lip-gloss when she started talking. “Will you promise not to tell Robb?”

“I…”

He wanted to find out what was wrong so he _could_ talk to Robb about it. This was Sansa. Robb should know if there was something wrong, he thought.

But then again, she was eleven now. Old enough to have a problem without her big brother having to be in the middle of it.

“I can’t promise that, Sansa, until I know what’s wrong. But I promise I won’t tell him if I don’t think he really ought to know…and I’ll let you tell him first if I think he should.”

She sighed and nodded. “Do you know Joffrey Baratheon?” she whispered.

Of course, he did. Everyone knew him. Rich, blonde and popular. Part of the same crowd Sansa was often seen with. He was a year ahead of her and one behind Jon and Robb. He was a dick.

“Yeah, I know him.”

“Last week, he asked me to the Valentine’s Dance.”

“Okay,” Jon said non-committedly, knowing Robb would not like this at all. Then, he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to discuss this with Robb. And for all he knew, Robb already knew because when was the last time they’d talked? He really needed to talk to Robb. “And you said…”

“Yes. I said, yes.”

“Okay.”

“But today he…he did something.  He made me uncomfortable. I don’t think I can go with him tonight now.”

“What did he do?” Jon asked with a sick feeling coiling in the pit of his stomach like earlier when he’d thought about skipping class. Except this was worse. He just knew this wasn’t going to be something he wouldn’t like.

“He kissed me in the library today…behind the stacks. We both have study hall there at the end of the day.”

“Uh huh,” he said, trying to contain some strange and primal rage at the thought of Joffrey kissing Sansa.

“And then he…” she glanced around nervously again and Jon heard a boisterous laugh two rows back. It was two of Joffrey’s friends, he realized. He could see a hint of honey-blond hair further back. He didn’t care about that right now though.

“And then what?” he prompted.

“He pushed me against the shelf and touched me,” she whispered.

Her face was red and tears streaked her cheeks. Her eyes sought his as she gestured towards her breasts. She was only eleven. She’d just started to develop. And Joffrey hadn’t got to second base with a willing girl. That son of a bitch had violated her.

“He what?!” he shouted.

“Please, Jon,” she said, desperate to shush him.

The two girls in front of them peered back at Sansa again, cruel smirks playing at their lips. He recognized them both. They were supposedly her friends. They weren’t.

Sansa had turned into his shoulder to hide her tears from the girls.

“Piss off,” Jon growled at them and they swiftly turned away. There was at least something to be said for being older and being associated with Val’s crowd on the bus.

He clenched his hands into fists and really needed to hit someone…like Joffrey’s douchebag friends two rows back.

 _No, I’d rather hit Joffrey_.

But instead, he clasped her hand in his as she hiccupped. Her hand was cool to the touch and smooth. His felt sweaty and dirty but he hoped that didn’t matter to her at the moment.

“What happened next?”

“I told him to stop and he told me not to be a prissy bitch. I shoved him away.”

“Good.”

“He shoved me back.”

“I’m gonna kill him.”

Her mouth fell open into a shocked little ‘O’ and Jon could’ve laughed at how sweet she looked just then if he hadn’t been so angry.

“You will not, Jon Snow,” she said a moment later with just a hint of a smile.

“No, I won’t. But I’d like to at the moment.”

She smiled a bit wider and squeezed his hand. “Thanks. Are you going to tell Robb?”

“I’d rather let you tell him that if you want. But, Sansa…you need to tell your mom and dad.”

“I couldn’t,” she whimpered. “I’d be so embarrassed. And I let him lead me back there. I knew he might try to kiss me. I…” She ducked her head in shame. “I thought...I wanted him to kiss me.”

“You might have wanted his kiss,” Jon said, putting an arm around her shoulder and, God, how he hated thinking about that asshat kissing her. “But what he did to you…that was wrong. He shouldn’t get away with it and your folks should know. They’ll know what to do.”

She sat there considering his words for a bit in silence and finally nodded. “Thank you, Jon.”

“Sure.”

They sat there awkwardly, kind of looking at each other. She was very pretty. And he needed to stop thinking about that…or what Joffrey did to her. He moved his arm off her shoulders.

“Uh, would you want some candy?” he asked, as he pulled out the little heart-shaped box from his bag.

“Oh, I couldn’t take your Valentine.”

“S’okay. No one gave it to me. I was gonna give it to someone but…well, it doesn’t matter. You can have it, Sansa.”

“I’ll share it with you,” she said. “I’m sorry about Val,” she whispered.

“How’d you…”

“Word gets around. I’m sorry, Jon. It’s her loss really.”

“Thank you, Sansa.”

They cracked open the box of candies and took turns selecting, telling the other what they got and making an appropriate face to reflect whether they were pleased or not by their pick. The caramel filled ones were his favorites and the mint cremes were hers.

“You should come over tonight if you’re not going to the dance. Robb’s kind of down about missing it with his cold. He’s getting better but Mom wanted him to stay home today so no dance tonight for him,” Sansa said as the bus got closer to her stop.

“Would your mom mind me coming over?”

“No, silly. We all miss seeing you,” she said warmly as she bumped his shoulder with hers.

“I’ve missed all of you, too,” he said with a catch in this throat. “I’ll call Robb and ask if he’d like company. My mom was going to have to drive me to the dance. I don’t think she’d mind driving me to your folks’ house instead. Of course…I wound up getting detention for a week so I may be grounded.”

Sansa frowned and he told her about Mr. Thorne.

“He’s a…dick,” she said quietly and scowled when Jon laughed.

“I’m sorry! I’ve never heard you say anything like that about anyone,” he chuckled.

She blushed at that. Her cheeks were pink and it made her even prettier. And he was not going to keep thinking about that today.

“If your mom will let you come over, I’ll bet Dad could drive you home,” Sansa said as she started to rise as the bus came to a stop. “Thanks for sharing your candies with me, Jon.”

“Anytime, Sansa. You can keep the rest.”

She grinned and tucked them under her arm. He watched her get off the bus and cross the street to her house. She turned back and waved as the bus started to move off and he waved back.

When his stop came, he got off without a thought or a backwards glance at the girl with the honey-blond hair.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some pining Sansa and some pining Jon. And teenage boys can be kind of...well, teen angst ahead!

* * *

 

 

**Ages 16 and 14**

 

“I’m sorry. What did you say?” Sansa queried in a haze.

Margaery had been whispering something in her ear about the Valentine’s dance. Jon had just passed by with Ygritte. She’d had an arm slung around his shoulders. Ygritte had been talking animatedly and they were both laughing. But when he’d spied Sansa, Jon had turned and headed down another corridor. The other redhead took no note of the younger girls and followed him.

Jon and Ygritte had been friends since Freshman year. There were rumors about them being more than friends. Some said they were dating. Some even claimed they were having sex. Jon hadn’t said anything about dating Ygritte, let alone sleeping with her but they seemed chummy enough.

_Why would he tell me anyway?_

Sansa wanted to be happy for him. She _wished_ she could be. Jon deserved to be happy. He deserved to get what he wanted…even if he didn’t want her.

“Stop mooning over Jon Snow,” Margaery said impatiently. “Harry’s coming over.”

“I do not _moon_ over Jon Snow,” she sniffed before straightening and turning around, ignoring Margaery’s scoff.

Harry Hardyng was tall, blonde and broad-shouldered. He was new to their school this year but already one of the most popular guys around. He was Jon and Robb’s age.

“Hello, ladies,” he said with his usual charm that won him friends so easily. “Sansa…you look ravishing in blue.”

Sansa rolled her eyes at him but part of her was pleased by the compliment. How many juniors told her she was ravishing?

_Radiant. Radiant was the word he used._

But that didn’t matter now. He was just being polite when he’d said that on New Year’s Eve after she’d come bounding down the stairs to greet him in her favorite blue dress with her hair all curly and soft.

Jon was always nice to her but she knew it didn’t mean anything now. She was beginning to wonder if anything boys said ever meant a thing.

It wasn’t his fault though. It was hers. That was the night she’d messed everything up.

For three years, she’d waited. They’d been friends and enjoyed hanging out together while she’d kept her hopes close to her heart. But she was in high school now just like him and Robb. She’d thought it was time to tell him the truth…or at least show him. Turned out, it wasn’t.

It was only ten past midnight but her mom had said for the kids to head off to their rooms while the grownups continued to drink and socialize. Jon was supposed to sleepover in Robb’s room.

She’d followed him out to his car when he’d gone to retrieve his sleeping bag. It was just a cheap used car but Jon had saved all his money from working over the summer to buy it. It was nothing fancy like what some of the kids at school drove but it was his and Sansa wouldn’t have minded riding in it with him.

He’d turned to see her standing behind him. Honestly, she’d been admiring the fit of his jeans and blushed when he turned around. He didn’t know why she was blushing though. He’d smiled at her so sweetly. She’d been _so_ _sure_ he felt the same way. She still couldn’t believe she’d been that forward.

“Sansa…we can’t,” he’d said after she’d grasped his shoulders and pressed her lips to his. “You’re just fourteen and I’m...”

“Lots of girls my age date upperclassmen,” she’d argued, not wanting to face the truth immediately.

“It’s not just your age, Sansa. Your folks and Robb wouldn’t…I’m sorry,” he’d sighed miserably. He’d closed his eyes as hers were filling with tears. “I’m not what you…I’m sorry,” he’d said again.

And then, he’d left.

He was supposed to spend the night but instead he’d got in his car and had left her standing there. He hadn’t even said good-bye to the rest of the family. Robb and Arya had blamed her. At least, they didn’t know what she’d done to run him off. He’d not shared that with anyone. She was thankful for that anyway.

“Going to the dance tonight?” Harry asked, pulling her back to the present.

“Sure…I’m riding with my brother and his date. Marg and I were going to hang out there with some other girls.”

Harry shot Marg a pleading look. Marg took the hint and said, “I’ll catch up to you later, Sans.”

Sansa clutched her notebook in front of her chest as she walked to Lit class a few minutes later. It was covered with doodles. She’d had to use a Sharpie to mark over all the J’s and S’s and hearts she’d scribbled on it back in the fall…back when she still hoped.

A date with Harry to the dance…sort of. He was going to meet her there. He hadn’t offered to come pick her up. Part of her wondered what her folks would think of Harry if she’d suddenly announced she had a date for the dance and he was coming over to get her. Her father had said she was too young to go on dates in cars with boys. Maybe it was better this way.

And, maybe this was exactly what she needed. He was handsome and charming. And maybe he was actually interested in her and didn’t care if she was just fourteen.

This would be good. She needed to get over this ridiculous crush on Jon Snow and Harry might be the ideal solution.

Three years earlier on Valentine’s Day, she’d cried to Jon about Joffrey on the bus ride home from school. He’d been a friend to her when she needed one badly. He’d come over that night and, in between laughing with Robb and messing around with Arya and the boys, he'd sought her out in her room and urged her once more to go talk to her parents. She did. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever done but she did it.  And Jon had stood in the hallway encouraging her to knock on their door.

Her father had called Joffrey’s dad and Joffrey never came near her again. She’d endured whispers and looks for a couple of months afterwards but Joffrey left her alone…and Jon had been her friend.

She knew about Val and how she’d hurt him by essentially dumping him on Valentine’s. They’d both suffered heart ache that Valentine’s Day. She’d been foolish enough to think that meant something special…and proceeded to be foolish enough to develop a crush on her older brother’s best friend.

“Sansa?”

She turned around to find the object of her reflections standing behind her…mercifully alone.

“Hey, Jon,” she said, feeling her chin trembling already as she tried desperately to stay cool.

“How are you?” he asked.  He was shuffling his feet and clearly uncomfortable.  Why had he bothered to come find her? 

“I’m fine, Jon. Why wouldn’t I be?”

_What does it matter that I kissed you six weeks ago and you didn’t kiss me back? It doesn’t. My kiss meant no more than your kind words._

“I just thought…we’ve not talked…since New Year’s.”

“Really?” she shrugged. “Has it been that long?”

He scowled and stuck a hand in his pocket. He did that little thing where he tossed his head to the side, making his curls flip back off his face for a second before they inevitably fell back in place. Other boys did that. Why did her belly have to swoop every time Jon did it?

She frowned at her stupid belly and its flip-flops. His eyes widened and he started talking.

“I’m sorry about that night, Sansa. I handled it all wrong, okay? I was caught off guard. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. I didn’t realize you had a…”

 _Don’t say it_ , she thought angrily. _Don’t say I had a crush. Don’t confirm that it was all me and never you_.

“…a crush.”

_Ass._

“It’s fine,” she said primly, already feeling those blasted tears that wanted to cloud her vision beginning to form. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve got Ygritte and I’m going to be just fine. I need to get to class.”

“Ygritte? Sansa, we’re not…”

“I gotta go,” she said over her shoulder as she fled.

She needed to get away from him before she started crying. She was done crying over Jon Snow.

But in the girls’ restroom two minutes later, it was clear she wasn’t done crying over him. He just wouldn’t get to see her tears.

 

* * *

 

 

His car needed repairs…again…or he would’ve just driven himself. But Robb offered to give him a lift and Jon had agreed without thinking that maybe he’d be better off skipping the school dance. It’s not like he had a date anyway. Ygritte was a friend, a good friend, but just a friend no matter what the gossips at school said.

Sansa had ridden in the backseat of Robb’s car next to him on the way to the dance that night…and never looked at him once. She’d chatted with Jeyne or looked out her window most of the time.

She was wearing her pretty blue dress, the one that was just a couple of shades darker than her eyes…the one she’d been wearing on New Year’s Eve.

He’d wanted to talk to her so badly earlier today. He hated this tension between them. It was all his fault. He knew she’d had a crush on him. It might’ve taken him a bit to figure it out but he had eventually. And what did he do? He’d let it go on because part of him liked thinking a girl like Sansa would fancy him. And part of him wanted her to like him because he liked her, too. He was just too big of a coward to do anything about it. Apparently, she wasn’t though.

So, he’d told her and himself she was too young. Deep down he knew that excuse was weak but it still might work. Robb had said Ned wouldn’t let her go on dates with boys in cars yet so she was too young to be kissing a boy who had a car, right?

He wasn’t good enough for a girl like Sansa anyway. Jon Snow was good enough to be Robb’s friend. But Sansa’s boyfriend? No, he was just a poor kid, the bastard son of a single mother who lived in a run-down neighborhood and bagged groceries at Mr. Mormont’s store four days a week. Not good enough for her.

He imagined her parents and Robb wouldn’t like it if Jon suddenly came over just to see Sansa even though that had sometimes been the truth. They wouldn’t like it if he started holding her hand or kissing her goodnight on the front porch either. And they’d definitely hate it if he was asking her out on dates, taking her places in his car where he could kiss her and maybe do even more.

As soon as they’d arrived at the dance, Sansa had waved good-bye to her brother and his girlfriend while pointedly ignoring Jon and gone to find her friends.

At least, Jon had assumed she’d gone to find her friends. Now, he found out otherwise.

“What’s this shit?” Robb announced from beside him.

He had Jeyne on his arm and Jon was left holding everyone’s jackets to put away.

Harry Hardyng was apparently waiting for Sansa at the entrance to the gym. He’d bought one of the school’s roses, one of the red ones for sweethearts, not the pink for friends. Jon’s jaw clenched as he watched Harry hand it to her. Even under the dimmed lights he could tell she was blushing when she took it and sniffed it before thanking him.

“He’s our age!” Robb fumed.

“So?” Jeyne asked. “I dated a junior when I was a freshman. Come on…stop obsessing about your little sister. She’s a smart girl and she’s riding home with us. Harry’s not going to get too far with her at a school dance.”

Robb grumbled but acquiesced and followed Jeyne onto the gym floor to dance.

Jon stood stock-still, rooted to the spot as Sansa and Harry started dancing…to a slow song. He was seeing red…or maybe green…or both.

He could only blame himself. He’d screwed up on New Year’s. He’d run away like a stupid little boy. He hadn’t been lying about being caught off guard but as soon as he’d opened his mouth, part of him had wished he’d just kissed her back instead. He couldn’t stand those tears in her eyes though, the ones he’d caused, and he’d run away.

But he still wasn’t sure what the right course was. Sansa was younger but more than that she was Robb’s little sister. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way about Robb’s little sister, was he?

He dumped their coats on the table that was already overflowing with them and stomped over to the bleachers, climbing to the top row before he leaned back against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. This was going to be a long night.

 _Another shitty Valentine’s Day_ , he thought sourly.

But as he watched Sansa laughing with her friends and smiling as Harry spun her around the gym floor, he wanted to be happy for her. She deserved to be happy.

 

* * *

 

 

“Want some soda?” Harry asked as she tried to catch her breath.

Part of her wanted to keep dancing all night.  As long as she was dancing, she was good.  But she was getting tired and thirsty.

She nodded happily and watched him walk off to fetch some.

She’d put the flower in her hair that Harry had given her when she’d arrived. It was red…not pink.

_Ravishing…not radiant._

She frowned at the thought and looked around. He was nowhere in sight.

Margaery and the other girls swarmed her, telling her how lucky she was. Harry was popular. Harry was a star athlete. Lots of girls wanted to date Harry Hardyng.

_“He might ask you to prom, Sansa. I wish I could go to prom.”_

_“His family’s well off.”_

_“He’s already getting scholarship offers to play baseball at some colleges and he’s only a junior.”_

_“You’d be the hottest couple in the school! And you’re only a freshman!”_

It was thrilling, being the center of that attention…but she wasn’t sure what she really thought of Harry. She barely knew him. And there were whispers of a reputation that had followed him from his other school…whispers that were not very nice.

And even as her friends were telling her all the ways Harry was unbeatable as a potential boyfriend, Sansa couldn’t help but search the gym for the grey eyes she knew so well.

Like something out of a movie, she could feel his eyes on her. She spotted him sitting high up in the bleachers…alone. It should be impossible to have any meaningful eye contact with a person at this distance but it was there all the same. No Ygritte in sight. His words from earlier and her absence made Sansa think she’d been silly to believe school gossip. It also made her wonder what people would be saying about her and Harry by tomorrow.

Jon had wanted to talk to her earlier, she knew. He’d probably hoped to heal some of the distance between them since New Year’s. But she hadn’t been ready. She didn’t know when she would be ready to really talk to him honestly. The first cut is the deepest and this one was still healing.

Instead, she gave him a small smile. She could forgive him for breaking her heart on New Year’s Eve. It was Valentine’s Day and she didn’t want either of them to be sad on Valentine’s Day. Maybe someday, they’d both find what they wanted.

He smiled back at her with a tenderness that made her chest ache all over again. But then, Harry returned with her soda and swept her away to dance some more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is concerned, Harry won't be appearing again except a passing mention next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, my God...y'all are going to hate me.
> 
> Heed the updated tags!

* * *

 

 

**Ages 19 and 17**

 

February 13th.

A cold and bleak day to match everyone’s mood as the body of Ned Stark was lowered into the hard-packed ground.

Arya’s face was buried in his chest as he held her. She’d been holding back these angry tears for far too long. Now, his winter coat would absorb them.

Bran stood beside them, his head bowed and his hand on his sister’s back as Jon awkwardly tried to put an arm around him, too. Bran had wept earlier and was fresh out of tears for the moment.

Rickon clung to Sansa’s side. His arms were wound around her waist. She tenderly brushed away his tears. He’d wanted their mother but Cat was barely standing on her own two feet. So, Sansa was his mother for today.

_And how many days after today?_ Jon couldn’t help but wonder.

He knew it was Robb who was keeping Cat upright at the moment from the way her hands were clutching at his good suit. Robb bit his lip and kept his face stoic as he stared straight ahead, a good imitation of the father that had raised him.

Sansa…she was only seventeen but being so strong. He was proud of her. Her delicate shoulders were carrying her mother’s burdens as she kept her chin raised and thanked all the mourners that came to offer their condolences, doing her best not to flinch with every fistful of dirt that was tossed on the coffin below.

She’d been the one to call a week earlier. One minute they’d been in their dorm room, joking and talking about bullshit. The next, Robb was sinking to his knees as his phone had clattered across the linoleum floor.

“Jesus Christ,” Robb had sobbed in Jon’s arms as he’d tried to make sense of how things could fall apart so easily and Jon had tried to offer what comfort he could.

He could hear her voice, tinny and remote but cracking with emotion on the other end of the line as she told her big brother about their father’s heart attack.

“Sansa…I’m here,” he’d breathed into the phone when he’d managed to retrieve it from under his bed.

“Bring him home to us, Jon,” she’d cried.

Jon had driven Robb home that night and stayed.

“You’ll fall behind on your school work,” Cat had said, her blue eyes unfocused and brimming with tears while she patted his hand.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jon had replied. “This is more important now.”

Ned Stark had been a father figure to him in many ways, the only one he’d ever known. His children would need him…all of them. He would not let them down. He meant to never let _her_ down again.

 

* * *

 

 

She was glad he’d come home with Robb. Her siblings needed him, she knew.

_I need you, too_ , she thought but quickly buried that emotion.

He wasn’t hers to need.

Three years ago, she’d kissed him and he’d not wanted it. She’d done her best to move on. She would say that he had too if there’d been anything for him to move on from other than his best friend’s little sister with her silly girlish crush.

They weren’t enemies, not by a longshot. But the friendship that had sprung up for a few years before that kiss hadn’t quite recovered. She’d kept her distance and he’d allowed her that. She had dated Harry for a while and then a few other guys but none of them had truly captured her heart.

_It’d be hard to capture when it already…let’s not think about that now_.

Night had fallen. The assorted guests that had stopped by after the funeral had finally left. Her mother had disappeared to her room the minute the last one had gone. Jon was still there but he wasn’t a guest. He was more like family.

She’d tucked Rickon into bed hours ago. His tears and anger were hard to bear but Sansa would bear them all if it helped him and helped her mother.

Arya and Bran were mindlessly watching TV with Jon and Robb. They were both numb by this point. Neither wanted to go to bed and they wouldn’t be going to school tomorrow so what did it matter? What did anything matter if Dad was dead?

Sansa hadn’t said a word to the others. She’d just slipped away to tidy up. Her mother shouldn’t have to face a messy kitchen in the morning.

She put away the cake Mrs. Glover had brought and the leftover lasagna from Jon’s mother. She’d been feeding them all week. She’d thanked Lyanna repeatedly but she would have to be sure and write her a proper letter of thanks in case her mother forgot with everything else weighing on her.

She filled the sink with hot, soapy water to start scrubbing the fancy serving platters and glasses that her mother wouldn’t want to see placed in the dishwasher. She tied on an apron to cover her black dress. She could’ve changed but she hadn’t cared enough to do anything more than was necessary when it came to her appearance this past week that had lasted a year.

“Hey.”

She turned to find Jon walking through the doorway, already rolling up his shirt sleeves and grabbing a dish towel.

“You don’t have to,” she said.

“I want to…unless you’d rather be left alone.”

She looked at him blankly as she thought about what she wanted. What _did_ she want?

His dark, curly hair was no longer in the man bun he’d worn earlier. His tie was loose. He’d taken out his contacts and put on his glasses but was still in his clothes from earlier minus his jacket. He was so handsome. It really wasn’t fair. He had been a cute boy but he’d grown into a handsome young man.

_What do I want? Once upon a time, I wanted you to want me, too. Now, I just want my father back._

“No…s’alright,” she said before turning back to the dishes. “You can help.”

They washed and dried in silence. She knew Jon wouldn’t push her for chit-chat. She glanced up at the clock as she handed Jon the last wine glass. It was just after midnight and she’d never felt so tired or heartbroken in all her life.

_Today is February 14th_ , she thought.

Every year, he’d brought his children candy. Every year, he’d brought his wife a dozen red roses. Her mother would tut that they were overpriced on Valentine’s Day but would smile all the same. There’d be no candies or flowers this year or ever again, not from him anyway.

Sansa had always hoped that someday she’d find a man as good as her father to love…one that would love her back.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Daddy,” she murmured under her breath, her nose twitching and her throat burning with the tears she was tired of swallowing.

She felt his hand, warm and dry on her back. She turned into his arms without a thought, letting him hold her as she fisted her hands into his shirt and sobbed.

 

* * *

 

 

His eyes were still red and itchy from crying so hard last night when he woke early the next morning. The bed was comfortable and warm…and unfamiliar. He shifted and felt the unaccustomed presence of another body curled up against him.

His arm was tucked under her head. He stroked her silky red hair with his free hand dazedly and felt her hand lying flat against his chest over his heart.

She’d taken off her black dress at some point in the night. She was only wearing her slip and underthings. Her mascara was a mess, streaked from crying and matted from sleep. Her cheek was smooth and soft when he touched it. He could count the freckles on her nose this close up.

He reverently kissed her forehead just as the sobering realization of where he was and what he was doing struck. His eyes widened and he froze.

_Nothing happened…nothing truly wrong happened_ , he thought before the panic could grip him completely.

She’d been crying. She was exhausted. He was, too. She’d clung to him helplessly in the kitchen, fighting the wails that tore from her throat against her will like inmates escaping an asylum.

He’d held her, breathing in her soft, floral scent, his heart aching so much he thought he was surely dying. She collapsed into him at last, worn down to nothing after her cry.

He’d carried her to bed up the back stairs from the kitchen. She’d held out her arms when he’d laid her down, beckoning him not to leave her yet. There was only the slightest hesitation before he'd joined her. It was then that he’d cried for Ned Stark at last as they held each other.

They’d fallen asleep afterwards was all. Nothing else had happened.

But she was seventeen and grieving for her father and this would look so bad to anyone else.

He eased his arm out from under her, slipped out of bed as quiet as a mouse and hurried downstairs to the den where he’d been sleeping on the pull-out sofa. His heart kept pounding for nearly fifteen minutes even after he’d got settled under the covers. He cursed when he realized he’d left his glasses and tie in her room.

His ears were straining, trying to catch any sound from upstairs. No one was stirring yet…just a guilt-ridden man who’d spent the night holding a heartbroken girl, trying desperately to ignore how right she’d felt in his arms.

 

* * *

 

 

“Here,” she said, passing him his tie and glasses in the kitchen when no one else was around. She’d had them stashed on top of the fridge.

“Thanks,” he said, shoving the tie into his pocket. He set the glasses on the kitchen table.

Everyone had just had a brunch of sorts made up of the assorted fruit trays and deli meats and croissants that had been dropped off by random friends over the past few days.

Sansa started cleaning up again. Cat was still in her room. Arya had taken her some coffee. Robb had just left to take care of some banking for his mother. The boys were outside, wandering around the backyard aimlessly while the dogs took care of business.

He grabbed a dish towel, the same one he’d used last night, and started drying without a word.

“Thanks…for last night,” she said quietly as she passed him a dish.

Her faced had been scrubbed clean. She’d showered and her hair was back in a ponytail. No black dress today. Today, she wore a sweatshirt and jeans…like any teenage girl might at home on a day off.

“Of course,” he mumbled, feeling his cheeks growing warm at the memory of her in his arms and the way he’d stroked her hair while she slept and touched her cheek. “I’m glad I could…help.”

Feeling awkward in her presence as he waited for another dish to dry, he glanced over at the counter where Bran had brought in the mail. There was a letter addressed to Sansa on top.

“That looks like an acceptance letter,” he said with a nod towards the pile.

“Yeah…it probably is,” she said disinterestedly.

“Do you know where…”

“No, okay? I don’t know,” she said abruptly. “I thought I did but…now, I don’t know and I don’t care.” He nodded and returned to drying another dish. “I’m sorry,” she said next.

“You don’t have to be. I probably wouldn’t care either right now if I were you. Robb said you might come to our school.”

“I…I’d thought about it. I don’t know…with Mom,” she shrugged.

She was a dutiful daughter. She wouldn’t abandon her mother or her siblings if she thought they needed her here.

_They’re always going to need you…but it’s your life, too._

“Well…if you want someone to talk to about it, I’m here.”

“Until you drive back tomorrow,” she said with a half-hearted smile.

He turned to face her, handing her the towel to wipe her hands before he put his hands on her waist. He knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t help touching her if only because it made her look at him. Those blue eyes widened with surprise but she didn’t pull away.

“I’m still here, Sansa. I’m only a phone call away if you need me or want to talk…about anything, okay?”

“Okay,” she said.

 

* * *

 

 

Dinner was quiet that night. Ned Stark’s place sat empty and Catelyn Stark’s did as well. Robb and Jon would be leaving early in the morning before anyone was likely to be up. Arya and the boys were all miserable over it. So was she.

Sansa dreaded them going. She needed her brother’s strength. She needed Jon’s, too. They all did. But Robb promised to make the drive home every weekend and spring break wasn’t too far away. Robb had been planning to go to the beach but plans change.

Jon worked on campus in addition to his classes but he still promised to come visit if he could get two days off in a row.

What had happened the night before with Jon was nothing romantic, she knew. He had been there for her when she needed him just as he had been years ago. But she couldn’t forget the way it felt to be held in his arms. No one’s arms had ever felt like that.

She decided to turn in early after dinner was cleaned up. She didn’t care about television and Robb had promised to tuck Rickon in tonight. She felt guilty for not being there, too. But she and Robb weren’t his parents and Robb would be gone tomorrow. She’d have plenty of nights to help with Rickon.

She heard a knock at her door and assumed it must be her little brother. But when she answered, it was Jon.

“This is probably stupid,” he said as he scratched at his beard with his free hand. “When I picked up milk for you after dinner, I saw these and thought of you and that day on the bus.” He held out four heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. “For you and Arya and the boys. I know this is without a doubt the worst Valentine’s Day of your lives but I wanted to do something…for you and them. Would you mind giving them to the kids tomorrow morning?”

“It’s perfect,” she said softly, taking the boxes. “Thank you, Jon.”

He nodded and gave her a lop-sided grin. “I already ate all the caramel-filled ones,” he joked lamely.

She grinned back and playfully smacked his arm. She welcomed his lame joke. “They were always your favorites.”

“I’m kidding. I didn’t open them.”

“I know,” she said.

He stood in the doorway staring at her and she stood there staring right back. There was a current in the air that hummed between them as they continued to stand there. But grief had taken too heavy a toll on them all of late and now was not the time to explore anything else.

“Good night, Jon.”

“Good night, Sansa.”

She closed her door and sighed to herself.

 

Early the next morning, she could hear them stirring before dawn. She could’ve rolled over and slept some more but she was awake now. More sleep was unlikely.

She padded downstairs and put on some coffee for them. She silently passed them each a full thermos as they headed out the door.

Robb held her tight, whispering that he was sorry to leave her with everything. She kissed his cheek and told him not to worry. Their mother was strong. She wouldn’t be alone for long.

Jon hugged her next…and kissed her forehead softly. She swayed into him, wanting to go slack in his arms, wanting to be held again and assured that everything would be alright. Instead, she squeezed his arm and thanked him for everything again.

Sansa watched their taillights disappear out the window and then went to the den where Jon had slept the past week. He’d already put the pull-out back in place and folded up the sheets and blanket he’d been using in a neat pile.

She bundled them up to carry them to the wash. But instead, she found herself sitting on the edge of the couch, holding the sheets to her nose and inhaling his scent, the one that still clung faintly to her own sheets.

She buried her face in them and found comfort for a time.

But soon, her younger siblings were coming down the stairs and her mother could be heard rummaging in the kitchen for breakfast. There were other things to do today besides sit and sniff sheets and allow her heart to dream.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *passes out cyber tissues to any that need them*
> 
> I'm so sorry to kill off Ned! I am. I love Ned. *cries* 
> 
> The next chapter will be three years later and we'll find Robb, Jon and Sansa as roommates. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

 

* * *

 

 

**Ages 22 and 20**

 

Three years had passed since Ned Stark had died one week before Valentine’s Day. His widow had picked up her pieces and grown strong again. Life would never be the same for any of them…but since when did anyone expect that to be so? The world didn’t stop the day Ned Stark died and life had gone on without him. His family and the young man that had looked up to him as a father had learned to do the same in time. They cherished his memory and kept his teachings in their hearts to honor him as they looked towards their futures.

Sansa had decided to wait a year to start college, opting to stay at home and help her mother with her younger siblings as she decided what it was she wanted out of life.

As promised, Jon had been a steady friend, always a willing ear for her to bend whether they were texting or talking on the phone or sharing a cup of coffee when he was able to spend a couple of days back home.

There were times she had chaffed at being stuck where she had always been as her friends all flew off to explore their new horizons. Then, there were times when she was consumed by guilt and regret at the thoughts of leaving her family behind when it came her time to go. And Jon, good friend that he was, listened to all her worries and frustrations without making her feel bad or immature for any of them.

When she did finally choose a school with a career path in mind, she chose to go to the same school as Robb and Jon.

College life had been an adjustment but the presence of her brother and her friend had made the transition easier. She could call him that now without fear of feeling awkward about it. Jon wasn’t just Robb’s friend. He was hers as well.

Initially, her siblings had expressed surprise over the closeness between Jon and Sansa when for so much of their youth they’d been heading off on their own trajectories, ones that seemed unlikely to intersect. But for all their differences, the Starks were loyal to their own, a tight-knit family or pack, and they came to accept this change as just another unexpected turn in the path of life.

Last year, Robb had suggested the three of them move into an apartment together having found a decent three-bedroom place available not far from campus. It quickly became four though as Jeyne, the girl Robb Stark had been in love with since high school, joined them.

The four of them, despite some differences in temperament and differing views on cleaning habits, had fallen comfortably into cohabitating. They all kept their own schedules between work and school and were careful to respect each other’s space.

Robb and Jeyne were together the most naturally but Sansa and Jon’s own routines were in sync much of the time.

Not wishing to cramp the style of the lovers, Jon and Sansa slid into an easy camaraderie of friendship and keeping each other entertained in the evenings. Even when they were bickering over his clothes being left in the washer or her eating the last of the ice cream, Jon’s friendship was a touchstone of happiness and comfort for Sansa in the larger, more complicated world of young adulthood. It meant the world to her.

It might have been so easy for the pair to fall into a relationship or just fall into bed together but Sansa’s heart had been once bitten, twice shy. And while she still found her heart drawn to him, she told herself it was only a passing fancy and not worth risking their friendship over. She told herself that anyway.

And if it was odd to some that two attractive young people, who seemed to have rather abysmal luck when it came to finding someone they were romantically interested in, spent an inordinate amount of time together without acting on other impulses, well…it was best not to dwell on that too deeply. Jon was her best friend. That was enough, she supposed.

Valentine’s Day was turning to night and Robb and Jeyne were away for two nights. Her brother had planned a romantic getaway at a lovely bed and breakfast for Jeyne.

Jon and Sansa had laughingly agreed to share a lonesome losers Valentine’s together while caring for Robb’s husky Greywind.

Sansa rolled out the dough to make a pizza from scratch for the two of them. He was due any time now. He’d got off work at six. She wondered what could be keeping him.

She hummed to herself as she worked and reflected on her own day at work. Her part-time job at the campus library was usually fairly quiet but this afternoon she’d had an unexpected visitor. She wondered what Jon might think of her news.

_He’ll be happy for you of course. Why wouldn’t he be?_

Still, there were times occasionally when Jon would look at her a certain way, his grey eyes darker than normal and his expression serious, and she could not help but question what he was thinking. And there were also times when they were cuddled up on the couch laughing at reruns of some sitcom when he would put an arm around her and hold her close and Sansa’s breath would catch in her throat. At those times, old thoughts and feelings crept in as Sansa felt warm all over. She wondered what that smoldering look in his eyes might mean. It was times like that when she could not help but think that maybe friendship was not all that was ever meant to be for them.

Admittedly, there were nights when Sansa pictured those eyes and those strong arms as she laid in her bed alone, frustrated and lonely and longing for something that she was better off not thinking too much about. But temptation would win out most of those nights and she’d reach in her nightstand drawer for her Man in a Box. Masturbating was one thing but the fact that Jon was always the man she fantasized about as she masturbated caused her no small amount of shame. Not that it stopped her.

The soft buzzing would fill the darkened room and Sansa would let her mind wander to his sensual, full lips and intense gaze. While the vibrations stimulated her clitoris, she would imagine his deep, raspy voice, soft raven curls and tender touches from his warm hands until she would shudder and moan with her release.

Afterwards, she’d lay on her bed in the dark, idly caressing her breasts as she caught her breath and wonder if he ever thought of her that way.

It was always hard to look Jon in the eye the next morning after those nights but she supposed it was just one of the hazards of living with a handsome man who happened to be her best friend whilst having no man of her own.

No man of her own…

It was not as if Sansa Stark went begging for dates. She knew men found her attractive. She’d dated a few since starting college but six months ago, she’d made a rather bold declaration in the middle of dinner with Robb, Jeyne and Jon.

“I’m finished with men,” she’d announced.

“What?!” Jon had yelped before he started choking on his Moo Shu Pork.

“Good,” Robb had simply said, causing Jeyne to laugh and Jon to snort as he guzzled some water, redoubling his choking spell.

She’d stood and slapped him on the back several times until he stopped wheezing…and then the ass had dared to laugh along with Jeyne.

“I’m serious,” she’d said, scowling at them all. “Until I finish my degree, I’m done with dating. No one from school has swept me off my feet and I think I can finish in three years if I buckle down.”

“Oh, Sansa…are you sure about that?” Jeyne had cooed. “One bad experience is not enough to warrant giving up, is it?”

“You weren’t there,” Jon had growled, his earlier laughter replaced by simmering rage as his fist clenched on top of the table. “I can’t blame her.”

Feeling self-conscious over Jon’s protective glare, Sansa had asked Robb to pass her the Lo Mein.  The conversation had flowed to another topic but she had been dead serious when she made that statement.  The 'bad experience' from three weeks earlier had still been with her.

Her lab partner had suggested arranging the blind date with a cousin of her dormmate. Sansa had been nervous as she’d had no experience with blind dates but, since the other guys she’d dated had left her feeling unenthused about the whole dating scene, she’d agreed.

She’d begged Jon to come along.

“Please? Just till I get a read on him.”

“Of course, Sansa,” he’d said begrudgingly. “If you really want to go through with this…I’ll be there."

Asking him had been one of the wisest decisions of her life.

She knew Jon hadn’t liked the notion of her meeting some stranger at a sports pub. She hadn’t questioned his obvious distress over this date more closely than that.

Ramsay Bolton had been attractive and well-mannered but warning bells were already ringing in her head before they’d even sat down in their snug little booth and ordered drinks. There had been something disturbing in the way his pale eyes had shone as he’d appraised her figure. He’d kept asking her questions about where she lived and if she lived alone as well.

She’d glanced towards the bar where Jon was nursing a beer and secretly keeping watch. Their eyes had met for only a second or so but he knew her so well by then. He’d read her look that cried, ‘Don’t leave,’ and had answered with a subtle nod. Later, she would learn he’d had no intention of leaving at all even if her date had been perfectly affable.

The service had been slow and Ramsay had ordered them another round of drinks while they waited for their food. And when Sansa had excused herself to use the restroom, Jon had caught a glimpse of the tiny plastic squeeze bottle which most certainly did not contain the eye drops it boasted as it slithered out from Ramsay’s sleeve. His hand had hovered over her drink for no more than the space of a blink before it disappeared again.

She’d returned from the ladies' room to find her date on the floor clutching his jaw as Jon stood over him with a murderous expression. Upon his explanation, Sansa had grabbed her purse and asked Jon to take her home.

She had been shaken to her core by that experience thus, the no dating declaration. She was only grateful that Jon had been there.

 _Like he always is,_ she mused as she slid the pizza into the oven to bake and set the timer.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Sam…when you’re with Gilly…is it ever like someone’s sitting on your chest?”_

_“Jon, I’m not discussing our sex life with you.”_

_“Your…I…God! I didn’t mean it like that!”_

_Sam had laughed and said, “Do you mean like suffocation?”_

_“Not exactly.”_

_“Drowning?”_

_“No. I just mean do you ever look at her and you can’t breathe?”_

_“Okay, yeah. I get what you mean. What’s this about, Jon?”_

_“Nothing.” His friend had looked at him skeptically. “Nothing I’m ready to talk about right now, okay?”_

That conversation had taken place six months earlier and he had sometimes wondered if he’d ever be ready to talk about it.

Except now he was. 

Despite her declaration six months ago, he thought maybe she was in a good place now and she might be willing to hear him out.  And if she truly wanted to hold off on a romantic relationship till she finished school, he could be patient.  He just couldn't keep it bottled up anymore.    

_Tonight’s the night._

Jon sighed and looked down at the flowers and ridiculously large box of chocolates he’d bought as he made his way to the apartment. He’d agonized over the flowers and wound up buying red roses. Red, not pink or white or yellow. Not any other color they might choose to dye roses either. It was Valentine’s Day after all. But how could flowers and a box of chocolates adequately express what he wanted to tell her tonight?

_Sansa…I’m in love with you. I was an idiot when we were teenagers but I was already half way in love with you even then. But, I was too afraid of what that meant and we were kids and I handled it all wrong. I’ve tried to tell myself that it wasn’t meant to be and that we’re better off being friends. And you are my best friend. But now, I can’t keep pretending that there’s not more to it than that. I’m totally in love with you and I really hope you’ll give me a chance to be…_

He groaned and felt sick at his stomach.

_She’s going to laugh in my face._

He shook his head. She wouldn’t do that he knew. She was far too kind to do that.

But he couldn’t imagine what he would do if she let him down gently with a sad smile. This would change everything. If he ruined their friendship, what would he do? Being without Sansa was like asking him to stop breathing at this point. She was an everyday part of his life. Hell, they lived together. Where would he go if this all blew up in his face?

 _You’ll fuck it all up if you do this_ , Fear said.

 _And if I don’t? If there’s even the slightest chance…I can’t help but try_ , Hope answered.

Since Ned's death, they'd grown closer.  And nearly a year of living together had brought them closer than they’d ever been. He knew her backwards and forwards. The joy of seeing her every morning when he went to fetch his morning coffee never got old. The thrill of sitting close to her on the sofa as they watched television and bickered over the remote never went away.

Little by little, all those doubts and worries and insecurities he’d harbored when they were younger had withered away till all that was left was the fact that he was in love with his friend, Sansa Stark.

Her every smile and every glance filled his heart with contentment…and haunted him in the night.

The walls of their apartment were thinner than they could be and Jon’s room was between Sansa’s and Robb and Jeyne’s rendering many of his nights something of a torment.

The couple was not obnoxious but he could hear them nonetheless, a regular reminder of his own extremely single status. He may as well be a monk by this point. _One that masturbates a lot though._

But what truly haunted him was the quiet buzzing that would come from Sansa’s room sometimes followed by her soft moans that made him hard in an instant. He dreamed of drawing those sounds from her. He’d tried to ignore it at first but it wasn’t long before his hand would be reaching for his cock as soon as he heard the hum of her vibrator. Honestly, it found its way there often enough without knowing Sansa was pleasuring herself in the next room.

And when it did, he imagined her soft pink lips and bright blue eyes, her sweet giggles and lush, warm body with that curtain of shiny red hair spread out across his pillow.

It was hard to look her in the eye some mornings afterwards but he supposed it was to be expected when your roommate was gorgeous, you were single…and in love with her.

He reached the door and slid his key in the lock, telling his heart to slow down.

“Finally! It’s about time!” she cried from the kitchen, in a tone of faux indignation.

“Honey, I’m home!” he answered already laughing. He could never play this game with a straight face.

“Thirty minutes, I’ve been waiting, Jon Snow! I cook and clean and my man can’t even get home on Valentine’s Day at a good time!”

“Aww…come on, Sans. You know I do my best to get home to you every night. What’s for dinner?” he asked as he entered the kitchen.

She turned and she spied the roses and chocolates in his hands.

“Jon!” she squealed, dropping her act of put-upon house wife at once. “Oh, my God! Are those for me?!”

She was already hugging him. God, she felt so good in his arms. He could never get enough of holding her or her sweet fragrance or just her.

She grinned and pulled back self-consciously. “I mean…I’m going out on a limb and assuming those are for me. Unless you went and found yourself a date and you’re getting ready to kick me out for the night.” She bit her lip adorably and he was hypnotized. He should probably be talking. “You didn’t go and find a date, did you? You’re not standing me and my homemade Pizza Margherita up on Valentine’s Day, are you?” she asked with a sad little pout.

 _You’re my date_ , he thought. _The only date I want._

“Would I do that to you?” he asked with a scowl.

She grinned again and shook her head taking the flowers from his hands. “You shouldn't have bought red roses, Jon. They’re ridiculously overpriced on Valentine’s Day,” she tutted as she searched the cabinets for a suitable vase.

_No shit._

“Oh…it was no trouble,” he said as she snatched the chocolates away next, already searching for her favorite mint cremes while beaming at him. “Save me a caramel,” he teased.

“Always,” she said and fed him one.

Sansa’s fingertips brushed his lips as the chocolate went into his mouth. They were warm. He wanted to kiss them...maybe suck on them. He moaned and she thought he was moaning over chocolate. She laughed and brushed her hair back behind her ear.

_Tell her now. Talk, you idiot._

But his stupid brain was short-circuiting and all he could do was stare.

Then, the oven beeped and Sansa went to fuss over the pizza. The moment would need to wait just a bit longer.

 

* * *

 

 

Jon had been quiet during dinner and Sansa suspected something was on his mind. He’d been worried over getting the grant money in place for his research project but she thought he’d said things were finally falling into place.

He raved over her pizza though and relaxed as they shared a bottle of wine.

And his eyes had that look tonight, that smolder that she imagined in her room some nights…okay, most nights.

 _That’s hardly appropriate considering today, Sansa,_ she told herself.

“What’s on tonight?” she asked as they settled in front of the television with the remaining chocolates and more wine.

“Romantic crap. It’s Valentine’s,” he chuckled as he leaned over her to snag another chocolate caramel.

He would smell amazing of course. Sansa rubbed at her nose, hoping to clear her head.

“That’s fine by me,” she grinned.

He handed her the remote and she selected ‘The Remains of the Day.’

“That one?” he asked petulantly.

“Yes.”

“But…it’s so sad.”

“It’s beautiful,” Sansa argued. “The pining…the repressed feelings…the…”

“The angst! Mr. Stevens blows his chance for happiness with Miss Kenton all because of his obsession with being the best butler he can be. Not to mention his blindness when it comes to Lord Darlington.”

“But that’s what makes it so amazingly…”

“Tragic,” Jon huffed. “Can’t we…can’t we watch something else, please?”

Jon never seemed to truly care what she chose for them to watch so if he had a problem with this film she wouldn’t argue. Sansa rolled her eyes at him but laid her head on his shoulder as she landed on ‘Pride and Prejudice.’

“Better?” she teased.

“At least the idiot gets the girl in the end,” he said dryly.

She laughed and snuggled up closer. “I like this,” she said.

“Me, too. I like spending my Valentine’s Day with you, Sansa.”

She glanced up and there it was again…that heated look that made her wonder. Sometimes she thought he might feel something for her other than friendship. The way he spoke to her, the way he held her when life was beating her down, the way he touched her gently and made her look into his eyes when he dismissed each and every one of her doubts…those were the moments she treasured. And he gave her so many of them. Was it only friendship? Or could it be more?

But she had been _so sure_ when she was fourteen and she’d been wrong. She’d not forgotten that hurt even as she’d forgiven him for it.

“Sansa…” he said softly, drawing her from her pensive thoughts. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about tonight.”

“Besides chocolates and sad movies?” she asked. She was nervous now. Why was she so nervous? And why was he looking at her that way still? “I have something to tell you, too,” she blurted out without thinking.

“Oh?” he blinked. She’d cut his flow and she regretted it. But he smiled sweetly and asked, “What was it?”

“No, you first,” she said.

“No…ladies first,” he replied with a bashful smile.

“Well…I ran into someone today. Someone I’d not seen in several months. You know your friend Sam?”

“Of course! Don’t tell me Sam’s in town. He’s not called or…”

“No, it wasn’t Sam. It was his brother.”

“Dickon?” Jon asked.

The heated gaze from moments ago seemed to disappear like a snuffed-out candle to be replaced with a furrowed brow.

_You imagined it. There was no heated gaze._

“Yes, Dickon. He stopped by the library. He was working on a paper and asked if I remembered him. We got to talking and, uh…he asked me out.”

“Did he?” Jon asked with tone that was hard to read. “Um…that’s great. Too bad you’ve sworn off men and dating till graduation.”

“Ha. Ha,” she smirked. “Yes, I know I said that but…well, that was six months ago.”

“Right…of course. I mean, none of us thought you would…not forever…or…” He trailed off and sat up straight. “So, I guess you said…”

“I said yes.”

“Of course…I mean, why shouldn’t you? Dickon’s a great guy.”

His jaw was tight and his smile wasn’t right. She could feel a new tension in the air. He rose unexpectedly and took the empty bottle to the kitchen.

“Jon?” she called.

“I’ll be right back,” he said over his shoulder before detouring to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

 

He ducked into his bathroom and closed the door. He pressed his forehead against it and sighed. He wished his heart would stop beating if it was only going to hurt him this way.

_It’s just a date. She’s not marrying the guy._

_So, go say something._

_Say what though? Hey, that’s great Dickon asked you out but I’m in love with you and I’ve waited till now to tell you because I’m an idiot. And I’m not telling you now just because Dickon asked you out even though that’s what it looks like._

_Fuck! I can’t. She’ll assume it’s all some twisted jealousy coming out instead of my true feelings._

_And what of her feelings?_

He didn’t know. There were times he saw those same dreamy looks from when she was a girl, the looks that spoke of a tenderness that might extend beyond friendship. But most of the time, she seemed content as friends.

He stared into the mirror at himself and asked an old question.

_Why didn’t I just kiss her back then?_

_You were kids. You had a lot of growing up to do.  And if you had, is that any guarantee you’d still be together?_

_No…but Robb and Jeyne still are._

“I can’t undo the past,” he said to himself, “but I can show her now. I can show her that she’s…she’s everything to me.”

But before Jon could return to her, the apartment’s front door opened with a loud bang. Greywind barked and then started whining.

“Robb?” he heard Sansa saying.

He could hear it in the tone of their voices and his gut started churning. Something was wrong.

He entered the living room again to find his two best friends hugging. Robb turned towards him with tears in his eyes.

“Jeyne and I had a fight…a big one. She’s gone to her mom’s to stay.” Robb scrubbed at his face and said, “I think…I think we just broke up. Christ, what am I going to do?”

Jon shook his head not knowing what to say…not knowing for either of them.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...based on the comments this chapter has already received I feel compelled to say this-It's going to get better soon. You won't be waiting till the last chapter for them to get together.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First off...This chapter and the next will be set the same year nine days apart so keep that in mind.
> 
> We've got some pining and angst to cover but Jon and Sansa are going to have a talk and admit some things...finally.

* * *

 

 

**Ages 24 and 22**

 

**February 5th**

 

“Is there something between you and Jon?” Dickon had asked once early in their relationship.

“No,” she’d demurred.

“But the way he looks at you…”

“We’re friends.” Dickon had cocked an eyebrow at her skeptically. “Well, when I was just a girl…I did have a crush on him.”

“Ah. I thought maybe…” He’d grinned and said no more.

“I kissed him once when I was fourteen but he didn’t kiss me back. He said I was too young and he…well, it was for the best, I suppose. He’s my best friend. He’s just protective of me.”

“I suppose I should thank him for being an idiot,” he’d laughed.

 _He’s not an idiot_ , she’d thought but said nothing. _And, he was just a boy then. But we’re grown now._

Oh, they were grown now for certain and life was more complicated than ever.

Looking back, she could’ve admitted the truth that day if she’d been willing to admit it to herself. It might’ve spared them both a lot of heartache. But it had been easier to deny it to him and in her own heart.

But, how many times had she thought of that Valentine’s night two years earlier at the old apartment when Jon had said he wanted to talk to her? When maybe he’d been on the cusp of saying something important and she’d panicked and opened her mouth about Dickon asking her out?

 _Way too many and so much wasted time_.

Jon had never said what it was he’d wanted to talk about that night after Robb had come home with a broken heart. Sansa had gone on a date with Dickon the following night. Jon and Robb had been drinking and watching ‘Big Bang Theory’ when she’d come in, commiserating together in a very male fashion.

Robb had asked how her date had gone. She’d said it was good and Dickon was sweet. Jon had smiled that same strained smile from the night before but only said he was happy for her before disappearing to his room.

Nearly two years had passed since then…two years of chasing happiness with the wrong person.

Robb and Jeyne had patched up their disagreement and wound up engaged a few months later. The happy foursome had split up when the engaged couple had said they’d be seeking their own place when the lease on the apartment was up.

And life had gone on.

“Is there something between you and Jon?” Dickon had asked again tonight, tearfully this time. “Is he why?”

“Yes…and no,” she’d sobbed. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

But she had. Too long she’d tried to ignore the truth and now she’d hurt a good man. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to forgive herself for it.

So, she spent her night drinking and nursing her regrets until good sense abandoned her completely. Calling Jon would be a huge mistake she knew as soon as she dialed his number but many mistakes are made after one too many glasses of wine.

_In vino veritas…_

“I said no,” she slurred when he picked up. “Is Arianne there?”

“Sansa?” he said, his mumbled ‘hello’ replaced by a suddenly wide-awake Jon. “Are you alright?”

“Sure. I always call you at, um…2AM when I’m drunk.” She rubbed her eyes. “No. No, I’m not alright. He died five years ago today and I told Dickon no. Is she there?”

“I’m…I’m alone, Sansa. Where are you?”

“I’m home. I’m home alone, too. Home alone forever,” she snorted and then hiccupped a sob.

“What are you talking about?”

“I tried to break things off last week and he misread my reasons. He thought I doubted his intentions. So, tonight…he proposed. He had a huge fucking diamond ring and said all the sweet words and I said no. Why’d you have to say that at Robb’s wedding, huh?”

“I’m coming over,” he said. She could tell he was already moving around, likely throwing on clothes.

“Will she like that?”

“Who?”

“Arianne,” she huffed.

“Sansa…we broke up.”

“When?”

“Two months ago. We’ve been broken up for longer than we were even together.”

“Oh…I didn’t know, Jon,” she cried.

And then she did cry. She cried so hard she couldn’t breathe. She cried so hard she dropped the phone and didn’t even notice. She was still crying when he reached her place.

 

* * *

 

 

“Is there something between you and Sansa?” Arianne had asked after he’d finally relented and agreed to the four of them having dinner together.

He could never tell Sansa no but he’d avoided it for a couple of weeks. It was hard enough being around her knowing she would never be his.

Sansa and Dickon were the established couple, together for over a year and a half now. He and Arianne had been dating for six weeks. He was trying his damnedest to move on with his life after he’d nearly ruined their friendship at Robb’s wedding.

But it had only taken one dinner with Sansa for his girlfriend to immediately become suspicious.

 _Some job you’re doing moving on_ , he’d sighed to himself.

“We’re friends. She’s my best friend, her and Robb,” he had said. Arianne had looked at him, the skepticism plan on her face. He couldn’t lie when it came to Sansa. “I’m…I’ve been trying to move on…”

“You’re in love with her,” Arianne had sighed.

“I am. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started anything with you when I knew I wasn’t over her.”

“Do you think you could get over her…with me?” she’d asked.

He could’ve lied and said yes. She might’ve stayed the night and maybe he could’ve went on pretending. But he’d shook his head and driven her home. He had called the next day and told her he was sorry again and he hoped she’d find someone that made her happy.

He should’ve told Sansa two years ago how he felt. If he’d spoken up that night in the kitchen while they were teasing each other and laughing, if he’d admitted it over the pizza she made, would they be living together now? Would he be the one offering her a diamond ring instead of Dickon?

He didn’t know for certain but nearly two years of heartache hadn’t eased his pain. He hadn’t realized until she’d called tonight that she might be sharing that same pain.

At Robb and Jeyne’s wedding, months before he’d met Arianne, he’d finally told her the truth. Six months ago, he’d finally said the words he’d wanted to say for so long. It had been too little, too late.

“I love you, Sansa,” he’d blurted out at the reception when they’d shared a dance.

“I love you, too,” she’d laughed.

She was beautiful in the teal bridesmaid’s dress he knew she secretly loathed. It made her blue eyes pop and her flaming red hair glowed under the lights. All through the ceremony, he’d been staring at her as Robb and Jeyne became husband and wife. He’d foolishly daydreamed that it could be them.

“No…no, I mean it,” he’d said. He’d stopped swaying and cupped her cheek. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for…”

She’d stopped smiling and he knew then he’d blown it. “I need to find Dickon and you need to sober up,” she’d said shakily before she strode away and left him standing there.

But he’d not been drunk. He’d not had but a single glass of champagne to toast the bride and groom when he’d said those words.

He wished he could take it back. There were so many things in life he wished he could take back but telling Sansa then rather than when he should have were the things he wished he could take back most of all.

When they’d seen each other again a few days later, she’d pretended nothing had happened and he’d swallowed the words he wanted to say once more. He’d been swallowing those words for so long now he thought he might choke to death on them.

Tonight, he didn’t think he could keep doing so.

 

* * *

 

 

Sansa’s head was splitting and someone was moving around her bedroom. She squinted at him and groaned.

“Drink some water,” Jon said, setting a bottle down on the bedside table.

She sat up with a frown. She was still wearing the same clothes as last night. Jon was dressed in black sweats and a t-shirt like he might wear to bed.

“Your sofa is fairly comfortable,” he added when he noticed her puzzled expression. “I just had to steal a pillow.”

He pointed towards the missing pillow on the other side of her bed.

Memories started creeping back in, memories of Dickon and his ring and his tears and memories of Jon finding her huddled in a heap on her sofa, sobbing her eyes out. Vague memories of the things she’d said after he arrived…and the things he had said.

“Jon,” she called hoarsely as he headed into her bathroom.

He didn’t answer but came back with two pills in his hand. “Ibuprofen. Take them.”

She nodded, which incidentally hurt like hell, and did as he said. He passed her the bottle with the cap already off. He sat down on the edge of her bed. He raked his hands through his curls and smiled at her tentatively.

“We need to talk, Sans,” he said.

“We do,” she agreed as she gulped down the water. Nothing could taste finer this morning to her parched mouth.

“Don’t drink it too fast,” he scolded in a semi-playful tone. “It’ll only come back up.” She stuck her tongue out at him. Even that hurt but he chuckled. “I know you probably feel like shit this morning but I’d like to take you to breakfast if you feel up to it.”

“I’ve tended to you more than once when you’ve been hung over, you know.” He grinned and nodded. “But I do feel like shit. I think I could handle some breakfast…and we do need to talk.”

“I’ll let you shower and get dressed,” he said, rising from the bed.

“Jon?” He paused and looked back at her. “Thank you for coming over.”

He shrugged and looked at his feet before piercing her with a look of longing. “It’s…what else would I do? I’d do anything for you, Sansa.”

Her mouth fell open. She was not misremembering his words from last night. She sat there staring at the empty doorway long after he’d walked away.

She finally rose to shower and dress. She felt marginally better…until she thought of Dickon and what she’d done. She squinted at the offensively bright mid-morning sun like a mole forced from its den. Jon handed her a pair of sunglasses from his pocket as they walked down the street to her favorite diner.

Ordinarily, she would’ve ordered blueberries pancakes, juice and bacon.

“I’ll have a scrambled egg, toast and some ginger tea,” she whispered to the server.

“What was that, honey?” the server squawked in a voice of brass.

Jon smirked but took pity on her as she cringed and held her head. “The lady will have a scrambled egg, not runny, a slice of whole wheat toast, not _too_ toasted with some marmalade on the side, and some ginger tea with two lemon wedges. I’ll have a short stack and black coffee, please.”

“Thank you,” she moaned as her head sunk to the table. The Formica was cool and she thought maybe the booth would stop spinning if she could just stay like this.

“Should we get it to go?” he asked.

She peeked up at him. He was frowning, looking worried. “No…I can manage it here,” she said sitting back up.

“Why did you say no?” he asked next.

She grimaced. “Wow…way to jump right to it,” she attempted to joke.

Her stupid stomach was churning but she didn’t think it had anything to do with the wine from last night. They were more like butterflies. He was still staring at her.

The server returned with their drinks and Sansa took a moment to sip her tea and consider his question.

“I said no to Dickon because I’m not in love with him. I do…or I did love him in a way but I’m not…it wasn’t the same as being in love I came to realize.”

“You said you’d tried to break it off with him last week,” he said as he stirred a packet of sugar into his coffee.

“I’ve been trying to figure out a way to break it off for a while honestly. But I felt…it’s hard to explain and I feel horrible saying this out loud.” She shrugged and covered her eyes. “I guess that’s about right since I’m a horrible person.”

“No, you’re not.”

“He’s a good man.”

“He is…but that doesn’t mean you owed it to him to stick with the relationship.”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“Maybe,” he nodded, sipping his coffee. “Your happiness is rather important to me.”

“Is that why you let me go without saying anything that night or the night after or the one after that?”

It was his turn to grimace. “Yes. I wanted you to be happy. But, I was a fool, Sansa. You seemed happy to be going out with him. I didn’t allow myself to believe that I could be the one to make you happy instead. I should’ve told you when I had the chance.”

“Two years ago, you mean?”

He nodded. “Two years ago…maybe three or more. I’ve been in love with you for so long, I can’t really remember a time that I wasn’t falling in love with you anymore.”

Her heart thudded in her chest even though her head was pounding. She’d not imagined it when he told her he loved her last night.

“I should’ve just listened to my heart instead of pushing you away that night.”

“You didn’t push me away,” he argued.

“I panicked. I didn’t want to get my hopes up and be wrong about you again.”

“You were never wrong,” he sighed. Her eyes filled with tears. He reached across the table and swiped them away with the pad of his thumb. “You were never wrong, Sansa. I wanted to kiss you back that night. I was…”

“Just sixteen.”

“You were younger and you knew. You were braver than me.”

She didn’t want to argue about that. He had cared about her even then. That was enough for her hesitant heart to finally heal.

He leaned back again with a sigh and she had to ask. “Why did you break up with Arianne?”

“The night the four of us had dinner...she saw the way I looked at you. She confronted me afterwards. I admitted I was in love with you. I thought I could move on but I was mistaken. It would’ve been wrong to lead her on and give her hope after that.”

“Like I did to him,” she said in a strangled voice. God, how it hurt. She’d never meant to hurt him that way.

“Sansa…he deserves someone who loves him wholeheartedly. I know it may not seem like that right now, but it was kinder to break it off now rather than getting in even deeper. What if you’d married him or had children together imaging that you could grow to be content with a man you weren’t in love with? Would that really be fair to either or you? I know your heart, Sansa Stark. You’d never be happy in a marriage with someone you didn’t love the way Robb and Jeyne love each other…the way your parents loved each other.”

That did it. She was crying in her teacup now.

The server brought the food and scowled at him. Jon politely asked her to box the food up to go and laid a fat tip on the table.

“Come on…let’s take you home,” he said.

They strolled back down the street. Jon carried the bag holding their food. He put his free arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek.

“Jon…” she said softly. She wanted to hear it when she wasn’t intoxicated and sobbing her eyes out. She needed him to say it first when she was truly ready to hear it.

“I love you, Sansa," he said, soft and serious.  She stopped walking. He pulled her into his arms. She nuzzled into his neck. She felt light-headed. “I love you,” he whispered again.

“I love you, too,” she replied, pulling back and feeling stronger. “But…I need a few days to get my thoughts in order and put some things behind me. I need to talk to Dickon and…”

He knew what she meant. He understood her very well. “Of course.”

When they reached her apartment again, they quietly moved about the kitchen as naturally as they had when they’d lived together, fetching plates, silverware and napkins before sitting down together to eat their breakfast.

Sansa looked at the calendar. February 5th...nine days till Valentine’s Day. It was the day he had died.

“Jon? Could we take a road trip this afternoon?” she asked.

“A road trip…” The question in his eye quickly turned to understanding. He took her hand and squeezed it gently. He knew what today was. “Of course, we can, sweet girl.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know...poor Dickon :( Poor Arianne too but dating 6 weeks vs. nearly 2 years is a BIG difference. He'll get another mention next chapter but let's all just tell ourselves he's going to meet a really lovely girl who falls madly in love with him. Any volunteers?


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

 

 

**February 14th**

 

They’d visited her father’s grave nine days ago on the five-year anniversary of his death. Then, they’d paid an unexpected call on her mother and spent the day with her and Rickon, who was still living at home.

Sitting in the Stark’s familiar kitchen and listening to Rickon shyly tell his sister about the girl he’d asked to the Valentine’s Dance, Jon’s chest had ached with bittersweet memories. Looking at Sansa and remembering how things had gone when he was Rickon’s age, it was nearly too painful to bear.

He’d smiled at them both and then slipped away to see if Cat had anything that needed fixing that she or Rickon couldn’t do. Cat had said she was fine. She had given him a curious smile and asked what had brought about this impromptu visit and why her daughter looked like hell.

“I’ll let Sansa fill you in on that,” he’d answered with an apologetic look. She’d smirked at him. “What?” he’d asked with a grin.

“Nothing…I just think it’s good to see you both here,” she’d said.

He’d thought of his own mother who had been living alone since he started school. He wondered how Cat would deal with her empty nest if Rickon went away for college. He had pondered moving back home more than once the past year. With Sansa seemingly out of his reach for good, he had thought maybe some distance would be good for him.

Now, he wondered how she’d feel about moving back home, too.

They’d both finished school. He’d been working for a while and she had found a job too but she wasn’t crazy about it. What would she think if he suggested it to her? Would she think he was mad when he told her he wanted to live together already when they’d not even kissed yet?

No, they had not kissed yet. As much as he was dying to kiss her, he was determined to give her whatever time she needed to work through things just as she’d asked for the morning they’d admitted their feelings for each other at long last.

Sansa had spoken with Dickon more than once. She cared too much about him to just walk away without a backwards glance. The woman Jon loved was much too kind to do that to someone she had cared about.

Jon made himself scarce when she saw him. He did not wish to cause more pain with his presence. However, he had called Sam a couple of times to quietly check how his younger brother was holding up. Sam said he had invited Dickon to come visit him and Gilly when he got some time off. He said it might do him some good. Jon hoped so. Losing a woman like Sansa…he understood precisely how hard that would be.

But things were moving forward between Jon and Sansa even if they weren’t doing much more than hugging and holding hands yet. He loved holding her in his arms again. He’d missed it even if it was still very platonic at present. She’d kissed his cheek and he’d kissed her forehead but their lips had not met.

But tonight, he wondered if that was about to change.

“Sansa…will you be my Valentine?” he’d asked over ice cream last night.

It was appropriate that they were at an ice cream parlor he supposed since he’d felt like a teenager again with his heart thundering away and his palms slippery with sweat. He didn’t think she’d say no to him but he’d been nervous all the same.

His Rocky Road had sat untouched and was starting to drip down the cone as he’d waited for an answer.

But, she’d smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, that girlish smile that reminded him of how innocent they’d both once been.

“Of course, I will,” she’d nodded sweetly with a blush before taking another bite of her Mint Chocolate Chip.

He’d beamed at her and kissed her hand before returning to his scoop and avoiding a melted mess.

They’d been seeing each other every day since the night she’d called him. Years of friendship made it feel natural even with this new charged awareness between them but it had only been ten days since she’d refused another man’s proposal.

Was it too soon to take this plunge?

He hoped not. He felt like they’d been inching towards this for the past eleven years.  And last night, she'd said she was ready to begin moving forward.

Valentine’s night, he stood at her doorstep with red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates in hand and a sense of déjà vu.

_No…it’s going to turn out differently this time._

He’d offered to take her out somewhere nice. She’d offered to make her Pizza Margherita instead. He’d quickly agreed. A quiet dinner together at her place suited him fine. And, being as she'd said she was ready to move forward, if she thought going back to that night two years ago was the place to start, he’d not argue. Maybe she hoped he’d get it right this time. He planned to.

“Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you,” he said in a rush as soon as she opened the door.

She laughed and kissed his cheek, her blue eyes lighting up with delight as soon as she saw the roses and chocolates.

“I love you, too…and thank you. Come on in,” she beckoned and he followed her into the kitchen. She found a vase for the roses and then turned and looked him up and down. “You clean up very nicely, Jon Snow…but was all this necessary for a night at home with pizza?”

 _Home_. He liked the way she’d said that.

He’d worn a shirt and tie. If this was to be their first Valentine’s together as a couple, he figured she deserved more than an old flannel and worn-out jeans.

“Are you kidding? I’d wear a tuxedo to eat your Pizza Margherita if I didn’t think it’d make you feel too shabby.”

She didn’t look remotely shabby. She was wearing a cream-colored, cable-knit tunic sweater with leggings. Her auburn hair was in a braid over one shoulder. She had just a hint of make-up on and a rosy shade of pink graced her lips. They reminded him of fresh strawberries. They looked plump…bitable.

“You would not wear a tux for pizza,” she snorted. “But you get an A for effort.”

He huffed a laugh and laid the chocolates on the counter.

“Good, ‘cause on a scale of one to ten, you’re a twenty and I feel shabby by comparison.”

She arched an eyebrow and smirked at him but it did not hide the flush that stained her cheeks. He liked putting that flush on her face. He hoped to see it again tonight.

She glanced at the box. “You eat any of my mint cremes?” she asked, as her hand touched the velvet-covered box.

“Nope, just the caramels,” he grinned as he covered her hand with his own.

The little kitchen smelled like freshly baked bread and oregano. The walls were painted a cheery yellow with white trim and blue accents here and there. But a tension filled the air, thick and heavy. Their smiles faded as he took a step closer. They fell silent, staring at each other. He was getting short of breath. He wanted to kiss her so badly. His brain started doing its ‘should I or shouldn’t I’ routine and he told his brain to shut up for a minute.

“Sansa…can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” she breathed as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

His hands found her hips. He loved the way her breath hitched when his eyes went from her eyes to her lips and back again. He licked his lips. She licked hers in response. His cock twitched.

“Sansa…I’ve wanted to do this for…”

**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath as the oven timer repeated. “What did we talk about on the way over here? Don’t hesitate, Jon. Jesus!”

“Hang on,” she laughed. She grabbed an oven mitt and deftly extracted the pizza from the oven and laid it on a rack. “It needs to cool down a bit,” she said shyly as she turned to face him again and dropped the mitt. “Wouldn’t want to burn our tongues.”

“No,” he said, his voice husky and his mind already heading to the gutter at the thought of Sansa’s tongue...or doing things to Sansa with his tongue. “That’d be a shame.”

He moved closer again and wrapped his arms around her small waist. He loved the softness of her sweater and the warmth of her beneath it. She was so close he could smell the shea butter scent of her conditioner and see her pupils widen.

“I love you,” he whispered as her eyes fluttered closed.

He tilted his head forward and kissed Sansa Stark at long last. Just a gentle press of his lips to hers at first but he pulled her closer, knowing part of him would be content to live here like this if she’d permit it.

He slanted his head slightly to deepen the kiss and his hands gripped her hips. He wasn’t sure if she gasped because of the way he held her so tight or because his tongue licked the seam of her mouth but he took advantage at once, slipping in to taste her. She tasted like a lemon drop and he recalled seeing the candy jar sitting on her countertop. It nearly made him laugh…his sweet girl and her sweet tooth. But he didn’t laugh. He relished kissing her, tasting Sansa’s lips and tongue.

No other kiss had ever felt quite like this. His whole body was tingling from his scalp to his toes.

One arm looped more securely around her waist as the free hand crept up her back till he cradled the back of her head.

Her hands were clutching at his shoulders at first but then one glided into his hair. He moaned to feel her fingernails lightly graze his neck. He longed to unbraid her hair and runs his hands through it in return.

All the while, they kept kissing, his heart thudding steadily with joy and his body not wanting this moment to end. It was the most sensual experience of his life, more sensual than sex had ever been. But he wasn’t surprised. This was Sansa in his arms at last.

She broke the kiss to draw breath so he decided to take another leap and kissed his way along her jaw towards her ear. She giggled and attempted to wiggle away. She’d always been ticklish, he remembered.

“Your beard tickles,” she whined as she squirmed.

“Shall I shave it off?” he teased as he nipped at her ear.

“No! I like it,” she said, cupping his face as she stopped trying to get away.

He held her as they stared at each other some more. He didn’t let her escape his arms completely but he didn’t move back in. It was their first kiss, their first true kiss. He had kissed her and she’d kissed him back. There would be more soon enough. If it was up to Jon, there’d be many more of them every day for the rest of his life.

 

* * *

 

 

The pizza had been demolished nearly an hour ago, a companionable meal filled with laughter, gentle gestures and sweet words of promise.

They finished the bottle of wine as they shared the chocolates on her sofa and watched a romantic comedy.

More accurately, a romantic comedy was playing in the background as they made out on her sofa.

It started innocently enough. She’d fed him a caramel and received a smile and a kiss as they snuggled together. He’d kicked off his shoes, pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt before they shared another kiss. Then, she’d snuck him a cherry-filled chocolate only because she loved to see him scowl and grouse about his least favorite. She’d laughed and been threatened with more tickling.

She offered him one of her preferred mint crèmes in penance. She batted her eyes flirtatiously and bit down on her bottom lip as she fed it to him. His hand moved swiftly, capturing her wrist as he eyed her boldly. His mouth closed around her fingers and he sucked at them. The heat in his eyes alone made her panties damp. He closed his eyes as his tongue expertly teased her fingers, leading Sansa to wonder what all he could do with that tongue exactly.

“Good thing you didn’t burn your tongue earlier,” she said in a sultry, deep voice that hardly sounded like her own. She blushed at her words even though she meant them.

Her sweater was too hot. She pulled it off, leaving only her camisole and bra. The coolness felt delightful to her heated skin.

He moaned. He was not moaning over the mint crème…of that she was certain.

In a flash, his mouth was back on hers and it was Sansa’s turn to moan. She twisted around and into his lap, straddling him, intending to kiss him deeper but she paused to look down at him, to observe the handsome man she had loved for nearly half her life.

His eyes were wide. She could see flecks of violet in the grey but the black of his pupils was expanding, obliterating the color. He reverently stroked his hands up and down her exposed arms.

She dipped her head and brushed his full, firm lips with her own hesitantly. His eyes closed and he pulled her to him hungrily. He lightly nipped at her bottom lip, begging entrance. She sighed and her lips parted, welcoming his tongue to explore again. He tasted of red wine and chocolate. She couldn’t get enough of just kissing him. Those nights in the old apartment where she’d fantasied about him could not compare to the reality of being held and kissed like this by Jon Snow.

His arms tightened around her waist, his hands grasped her ass. She could feel his growing erection pressing against her core and her panties grew decidedly wetter.

The movie was completely forgotten as he shifted them both. He laid her down on the sofa. She could feel the heat radiating off his body as he hovered over her, propped on one elbow. He was still panting from their kiss. He hooked two fingers in the waistband of her leggings.

“Sansa?” he rasped, his expression a mixture of hope and agony.

One more step. She nodded and he leaned his forehead against hers before kissing it. He kissed his way down her face, feather-light kisses.

His hand slithered down her leggings as his mouth locked on hers again. She rocked into his palm that was cupping her mound through her panties.

“I wanna kiss you everywhere, Sansa…please.”

“Yes,” she sighed. “Yes…I want you to.”

He kissed her jaw. His teeth grazed her throat…and his fingers slipped inside her panties, tracing her folds.

“You’re wet,” he rumbled, a primal sort of sound deep in his chest.

“For you, Jon.”

“Fuck…oh, fuck…” he hissed and started pumping a finger in and out of her as he sucked at her pulse point.

He circled her clit, making it slick with her arousal before fingering her again. His palm massaged her nub. She was already chasing a climax.

She yanked up her camisole and he caught her meaning. His hand darted up to clumsily unfasten her bra behind her back before returning to its work below. He hastily shoved her bra out of the way as his mouth closed over a nipple. He swirled his tongue around it and then suckled sending electric currents of want humming through her body to her sex.

Her hips rocked into his hand, enjoying the friction and stimulation he brought with his mouth at her tit and his hand down her pants. She would not last much longer.

He switched to her other breast just as she came with a shuddering cry, calling his name as stars twinkled behind her eyelids. Heavenly release and an all-encompassing sense of joy filled her for the space of a several moments before she was floating back down.

She sank into the sofa cushion and opened her eyes to find him lazily licking his fingers and grinning at her.

“Jon…” she sighed. She wanted more of him. Her hand moved firmly down his muscled chest and toned abs until she rubbed his hard cock through his khakis. “I think we’re overdressed,” she said.

He trembled with need. “You’re sure?”

She nodded. “Do you have a…”

“Yeah. I came prepared…just in case,” he said with a sheepish shrug.

“You came prepared just in case you got to come?” she smirked.

He snickered and rolled off the sofa before pulling her to her feet. “Something like that.”

They kissed and caressed each other, stumbling along as she led him to her bedroom. His shirt came off as soon as they entered, only losing a couple of buttons in his eagerness. She’d not seen him shirtless since they’d lived together. She didn’t want to let another day pass without seeing Jon shirtless.

She tugged her camisole over her head and he helped pull her already unfastened bra the rest of the way off.

“You’re beautiful, Sansa,” he said, his eyes glowing as he drank in her shirtless form. Perhaps he didn’t plan of letting another day pass without seeing her shirtless. “I want to do something.”

“I’ll bet you do,” she laughed but he surprised her next by plucking her hair band off the end of her braid.

He gingerly ran his fingers through her locks, unbraiding her hair. The look in his eyes was so tender, it made her heart ache. He fanned her hair over her shoulders, partially covering her breasts and then kissed her again.

He kissed his way down her chest, pausing to suck and tease her nipple, making her desperate before working his way down her belly. He sank to his knees and hooked his fingers in her waistband once more. He looked up at her imploringly.

“Yes,” she answered breathily.

He helped her step out of the leggings and her panties before he buried his nose in her curls and inhaled deeply. She swayed and his grip on her hips tightened. She laced her fingers through his hair and he started kissing her mound, so soft and gentle. She carded her hands through his hair and looked down at him lovingly through the curtain of her own hair.

Then, his tongue swiped her clit and her knees buckled.

“I’ll fall,” she yelped.

“I’ll catch you,” he replied with a laugh.

He stood and lifted her into his arms, carrying her the few steps that remained to her bed. He laid her down and hurriedly removed his pants and boxers. She had only a fleeting glance of him before he lowered himself between her legs. She’d have to rectify that later, she decided as he nudged her thighs apart.

The earlier teasing of her fingers by his tongue was no match for his skill elsewhere. Her hips bucked shamelessly against his mouth as he swept her legs over his shoulders and went down on her with unfeigned enthusiasm.

She was already at a heightened state of arousal from his hand on the sofa. His mouth and fingers working together had her crying out sooner than she would’ve thought possible. But he didn’t stop. She was still panting and trying to catch her breath when his lips and tongue began assailing her with more delicious torment. When she climaxed again, she lay there bonelessly, content and dreamy…until she felt him pressing kisses down her thighs and knees and on downward towards her toes.

“What are you doing?” she murmured.

“I said I wanted to kiss you everywhere.”

Her toes were already curling at the thoughts of him possibly kissing his way back up again…and making a few stops. But she wanted him…all of him.

“That’s sweet. Now, get up here and fuck me.”

He barked out a laugh and climbed back up her body. “Yes, ma’am,” he said with a devilish grin before he kissed her once more.

She could taste her desire on his tongue. Her hands moved from his hair to glide along his strong shoulders and down his smooth back. She lifted her head and looked over his shoulder.

“Like what you see?” he asked teasingly.

“Just confirming something I’ve always suspected. You’ve got a very nice ass,” she said as she gave it a smack.

“Thanks,” he huffed. Then, he winked at her…or tried to. He’d never been very good at winking.

He got up on his knees and grabbed the condom he’d left on the edge of the bed when he’d undressed. She scooted farther up the bed onto her pillow. She watched him unwrapping the condom and got a good look at his cock jutting out towards her from a nest of black hair. She grasped it and enjoyed the heavy weight in her hand, the soft skin an enchanting contrast to its hardness. She gave it a stroke. He bit his lip. His brow knitted together. She closed her hand around him more fully and began pumping as he became increasingly frustrated with the condom wrapper. He grunted and thrusted into her hand once. She gripped an ass cheek with her free hand and pumped a little more insistently, watching his face as he struggled between giving into ecstasy and finishing his task.

“You’ll have to stop if you want me to do more than make a mess all over your hand,” he warned with a playful scowl.

She ceased her efforts. Maybe another time. This time she wanted him inside her.

She laughed when he finally got the packaged unwrapped with a triumphant hoot.

But when he laid down on top of her, kissing her deeply with a serious expression, the teasing and laughter stopped. This was another step in a very long walk that had started years ago, with many missteps and much faltering along the way.

He centered his cock at her entranced and looked up at her, waiting for the final word, she supposed.

“I wish…” she began with a sigh.

 _I wish you’d been my first,_ she thought, fruitlessly trying to banish the tears that sprang to her eyes.

She didn’t want to cry…not now, not when her heart was so full at last. But it’s hard not to regret wasted moments when our lives are so fleeting. Nevertheless, she wouldn’t trade a moment of the pain so long as it brought them together at last. He was here with her now, the man she’d truly wanted for as long as she could recall.

“Me, too,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I wish you’d been mine, too. But, Sansa…I hope you’ll agree to be my one and only from now on. There’s no one for me but you.”

She blinked her tears away and swallowed the lump in the throat as she gave him a watery smile.

“Yes…I want that. There’s no one for me but you either.”

His eyes were wet with unshed tears and she wanted to chase them away. She rolled her hips and moaned for him.

“Jon…” she prompted.

“God, yes,” he cried. He entered her in one fluid thrust, filling her completely. “I love you, Sansa. I’ve been in love with you for years…I will love you my whole life,” he swore as he began to move.

“And I you,” she answered as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper.

He sought her mouth with his. They kissed as his hips set a rhythm for her to follow. She was soon meeting his movements with perfect timing, as though they had been made for one another.

 _We are_ , she knew.

 

* * *

 

 

It was almost too much and it would never be enough. Such were his thoughts as he made love to Sansa for the first time. Her body fit him like a glove just as her heart completed his.

He couldn’t seem to decide what he wanted to watch more; her round, firm tits that bounced with every thrust, the waves of her red hair that slid along her pillow like liquid fire or her eyes that were dark as sapphires as she watched him, too.

He thought perhaps he liked staring at her mouth best though. But was it those sweet, plump lips that her pearly white teeth kept nibbling between her moans and sighs or the way it fell open as she cried out beneath him he preferred? It was something he’d never tire of debating, he decided.

He glanced up at her eyes again and saw her staring at his mouth. He leaned forward and stole a kiss…and another.

“I love you,” she said, her face full of tenderness. They were both sweating and his release was near. He didn’t know if he could hold out for her until he saw her brow furrow with renewed concentration. “ _Ohhhh_ …Jon…”

“Are you gonna come again?” he husked. “Fuck, sweet girl. I wanna make you come again.”

She bit that sweet lip and moaned her assent. He kissed his way down to her breast and started teasing a nipple once more.

“Don’t stop…please…don’t stop,” she begged as he felt her cunt squeezing his cock, nearly enough to make him cross-eyed.

“Never, never, never,” he chanted as she came with a high-pitched, keening cry that made his balls tighten up immediately.

He shuddered as he came, his orgasm so intense he thought he might pass out as he roared with his release.

He collapsed on top of her, still buried deep inside Sansa’s tight, wet heat. He could still feel her pulsing around him…or maybe that was him. His heart pounded. He wondered if she could feel it. Her breath was quick and hot on his neck as she struggled to catch her breath like him. He was probably suffocating her with his weight.

“Sorry,” he said with a groan as he rolled off her and pulled her back up against his chest. He kissed her shoulder. “That was…”

“Yeah…” she agreed.

“Just…wow,” he finished lamely. He really couldn’t come up with anything better at the moment. They both laughed. “I love you so much, Sansa.”

“I love you, Jon.”

He glanced over at her bedside clock.

11:59PM

It was still Valentine’s Day.

“Thank you, Sansa.”

“For what?” she asked, turning in his arms to face him.

He stroked her hair back off her face and traced her lips with one finger. “Thank you for loving me, for forgiving me for waiting too long…and for making this the best Valentine’s Day of my life.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. And the best so far, you mean,” she said with an endearing smile.

“Yes, sweet girl. The best so far.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! They needed that. Or, we did...lol. We'll catch up with them three years down the road for the epilogue. Thank you for reading :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Happily Ever After...and Jonsa baby!

* * *

 

 

**Ages 27 and 25**

 

Three years had passed since their first Valentine’s as a couple and nothing had diminished the love and affection they shared. In fact, it had only increased with the passing of time.

A few months after that fateful February when their feelings were openly declared by both of them and acted upon at last, they had decided to move back to their hometown to find work, be closer to their mothers and start a new chapter of their lives living together. And, it wasn’t too many months after they’d moved that Jon had bought a ring for his sweet girl and proposed.

After she had joyfully accepted, Jon had asked if Sansa wanted a big wedding.

“When I was a girl, I dreamed of such things,” she’d admitted. “But now I only want you and to celebrate with our family.”

Jon could hardly find it in him to argue considering a huge wedding wasn’t something he’d ever dreamed of.

Still, he had caught her admiring bridal gowns with longing sighs enough times to know that while Sansa didn’t want an over-the-top, lavish affair, something more than getting hitched by a justice of the peace at town hall might be called for.

So, Sansa had worn her beautiful ivory gown as her mother had escorted her down the aisle. And, as both mothers had wept their tears of joy at the reception, Jon had managed to twirl his bride around the dance floor without stepping on her toes.

He never would have believed anyone that night if they’d told him Sansa could be even more radiant than she had been on their wedding day.

But that was before he’d knocked her up…

 

**February 13th**

 

“You’re going to be late for work,” Sansa grumbled sleepily as his hand caressed her bare thigh.

She’d complained of being too hot last night and only worn her panties with her soft pink tank top to bed. She was adorable in her loose-fitting flannel pajama bottoms she typically wore but this made things easier, Jon thought.

“I don’t care,” he said as he slid her panties aside to trace her folds with his fingers.

“You’re going to make _me_ late for work,” she admonished next…and then rocked her ass back against his hard cock and moaned as he expertly palmed her clit and slipped a finger inside.

“You don’t care either,” he grinned as he started sucking on her neck.

“You’re a sick man,” she said teasingly.

“Sick?”

“I’m as big as a house.”

“You’re perfect,” he argued caressing her round belly.

“I waddle like a duck and just thinking about exercise makes me sweat.”

“You’re gorgeous and all mine. If I’m sick, I don’t want to be well. In fact, let’s call in today.”

“I can’t do… _unnn_ …that. I’ve got… _ohhh_ …”

No further protests were heard as he worked her to an orgasm…her first of the day. If Sansa had to bear the burden of carrying their child and giving birth in a few weeks, Jon would happily give her as many orgasms per day as she’d allow.

“Jon! Yes…” she cried as her cunt tightened and fluttered around his fingers.

He barely let her catch her breath before he slid down between her legs and let his mouth replace his hand.

Last year, they’d talked about starting a family. They both wanted children and although there was plenty of time for that, they’d decided to go ahead and start trying. Jon had happily stopped using condoms and, though they’d not expected it to happen so soon, they were thrilled when Sansa wound up pregnant two months later.

And since then, Jon could not seem to leave his poor wife alone. Not that he left her alone before she was pregnant but there was just something about knowing she was pregnant with his baby that made him even hornier than usual…not that she was complaining.

He had long thought her the most radiant woman he’d ever met. But now…she seemed to glow. By the time her breasts grew larger and her belly began to swell, Jon was not able to keep his hands off her whenever they were alone.

Thankfully, she’d been very eager for sex as well throughout her second trimester or Jon might’ve rubbed all the skin off his cock trying to satisfy his desires.

But by 37 weeks, with her belly resembling a basketball, swollen ankles and an aching back and hips, sexual intercourse was becoming more of an act of contortion at times to find a position that brought Sansa pleasure instead of increasing her misery that seemed to gain every day.

However, it had not quelled her desire for orgasms. And Jon had silently vowed to give her all the orgasms she could handle.

He wiped off his beard with a smug smile as she lay there panting after shuddering with her release once more.

“Come up here,” she begged, opening her arms to him.

He wanted nothing so much as to climb up the bed and sink deep inside her wet heat but…

**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**

He silenced the snooze alarm with a groan and started to rise.

“I thought you said we’d call in,” she huffed.

“I will if you’re serious about calling in with me.”

For a moment, he thought she’d agree but then she’d sighed and said she needed to go in. “But what about you?” she asked, eyeing his erection that was still throbbing almost painfully.

“I’ll take care of me in the shower.”

“I’ll shower with you. It’ll save us some time,” she said with a wicked gleam in her eye. “But tonight…”

“Yeah?”

“Tonight, we’re finishing you off properly.”

 _I’d say you finished me off properly already_ , Jon thought later as he whistled an offensively bright and cheerful tune that morning at work causing more than one co-worker to look his way with a scowl.

Sansa had started with a hand job in the shower but he couldn’t help but do likewise to her before he came. So, she’d turned and spread her legs, urging him to fuck her from behind as she leaned against the shower wall. He’d happily done so, pulling out in time to watch his cum spurt all over her perfect round ass before he spun her around to rain sloppy, wet kisses all over her mouth, neck and breasts. He sunk to his knees to continue his kisses until the water got too cold to continue.

She’d complained of her back aching some when they climbed out and dried off but then dressed quickly and kissed him goodbye in the kitchen before heading to work.

At lunch, he called to check on her but she was busy with a patient and couldn’t talk long. She said her lunch had not agreed with her but almost everything was giving Sansa heartburn by this point. She also mentioned continued back pain but again…this was a daily occurrence by now. Assisting her physical therapy patients all day didn’t help and his conscience stung knowing that the shower sex probably hadn’t helped either.

When he got home that night, Sansa had made her Pizza Margherita.

“What’s this?” he asked. “I figured you’d make that tomorrow night.”

It had become another Valentine’s tradition. Like their heart-shaped box of chocolates, Sansa’s homemade Pizza Margherita and wine had been part of their celebration for four of the past five years. There’d be no wine this year but the pizza had still been the plan despite her issues with red sauce at present.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I’ve been craving it all afternoon and I already had everything to make it so I just decided to do it. I hope that’s alright.”

“Of course, it is,” he said, kissing her softly. “I’ll set the table.”

An hour later, Sansa’s legs were thrown across his lap as she laid there napping while he watched TV. When he could barely keep his eyes open, he cleaned up the kitchen and woke his sleepy wife.

“Come on, sweet girl. Time for bed,” he said, helping her off the sofa.

But between the living room and bedroom, Sansa seemed to wake up.

“ _Jon_ ,” she said in that low and sultry tone that made the blood rush to his cock and his stomach muscles clench in anticipation. “I thought we had plans tonight.”

“Well, I didn’t want to disturb your rest.”

“I’m feeling rested now…and rather restless.”

He quickly pulled off his clothes and kept Sansa steady as she did the same. Once they were naked, he kissed his way across her belly, careful not to let the scruff of his beard irritate the sensitive skin that was stretched taunt.

From behind was the best position for them to have sex at present but Jon spent time with his head between his wife’s thighs first. He loved making her quake and cry out for him and only him.

He turned her to face their dresser mirror as he rolled her over. He raised up to his knees before gripping her hips and sliding inside with a satisfied groan. The curtain of red hair hung over her shoulders but they were staring hungrily at each other in the mirror. He could watch her enlarged breasts bounce with his every thrust this way. His eyes darted from her ass in front of him to the mirror to watch her biting her lip and then back to her breasts.

He grunted with his completion sooner than he’d planned but they were both tired and it would be another early day tomorrow.

After they’d cleaned up and pulled on their night clothes again, he pulled her close to spoon her.

It was 11:30PM, nearly Valentine’s Day.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too,” he replied, kissing her cheek.

Jon never heard the mantle clock in the living room strike midnight. He was already deep, deep down.

But an hour or so later, he was being roughly shaken awake. He opened his eyes to find her hovering over him. She’d turned the bedside lamp on and she was grimacing, in evident pain.

“Jon…I’m having contractions and…I think my water broke,” she said in a frightened voice.

 

* * *

 

 

Mercifully, the lights in the bathroom were not as glaringly bright as those in the labor and delivery triage area. But it was 3AM and her body was wondering why exactly she wasn’t lying in her bed. She wished her mind had such simple concerns as another contraction began.

Sansa shivered in the green-striped hospital gown. She was still struggling with the stupid ties when her uterus forcefully reminded her that this was not a bad dream.

_37 weeks. You’re already considered full term. Three weeks before the due date is not a big deal. You’re fine, the baby will be fine. Please, God…let the baby be fine._

“Sansa?” Jon’s voice called through the door when she started biting her knuckles to stifle another groan. “Can I come in?”

She unlatched the door and paced over to the far side with one hand on her back and the other still shoved in her mouth. He was white as a ghost and looked as skittish as she felt but he came over and helped her finish tying her gown.

“The nurse brought some ice chips,” he said. She nodded…and then started to cry. “Oh, shit. Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do.”

She wiped her face and smiled. “I’m alright. Well, I’m scared to death right now but we’re here, this is happening and it’s going to be alright.” She grasped his shoulders. “Jon…please tell me it’s going to be alright.”

“It’s going to be alright,” he repeated back to her, pulling her into an embrace and kissing her temple. “I just know it is. Let me help you back to the bed.”

Jon guided her back to their curtain and turned off the light over the bed while they waited for the doctor to arrive. The maternity nurses flitted in and out checking to see how she was holding up and saying they’d get her in a room if the doctor decided it was time.

 _It’s time,_ Sansa wanted to snarl at them but she understood hospital procedures well enough.

Eventually though, it grew quiet and, even with the contractions steadily gaining in frequency and strength, Sansa started to feel more at ease.

“Want me to call your mom?” Jon asked at one point as he fed her another ice chip. She felt parched, her mouth dry as the desert.

Part of her did want her mother. God, she wanted her mother’s calm reassurances having gone through this herself five times but ultimately, she decided against it. It was the middle of the night. She highly doubted her mother would care if she woke her but Sansa hated to disturb her and cause her to worry when the doctor hadn’t even come yet.

And, another part of her preferred it just being her and Jon. She wanted to hold on to this quiet time of waiting as the two of them prepared to welcome their first child.

“No…not right now,” she said. “You can call her and your mom once he gets here.”

Jon smiled and griped her hand. “Once he gets here,” he said wistfully. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

The doctor arrived soon after and examined her which was far more uncomfortable than she’d anticipated. Her jaw was clenched and she was squeezing Jon’s hand hard throughout it. She let out a relieved breath once it was done. She was grateful that her obstetrician was on call tonight but right now she really didn’t care who delivered the baby so long as everything was okay.

“Five centimeters and fully effaced. Looks like we’ll be having a Valentine’s baby sometime later this morning,” Dr. Tarth said with a satisfied smile as she pulled off her exam gloves.

“No shit,” Sansa said under her breath which made Jon snort back a laugh.

 

Four hours passed, four exhausting hours that oscillated between creeping minutes that seemed to last a weekend apiece and a flurry of activity where an hour flew past unnoticed in between puffing and pushing.

And right by her side through it all stood Jon. His steady presence there just as he had been for so much of her life, whether he was comforting a confused and hurt eleven-year-old on the school bus or holding her in his loving embrace as she grieved for her father…or simply loving her, be it as her friend or her lover and husband.

A final push and she collapsed back onto her pillows before immediately trying to sit up, straining to see their son. She’d expected them to lay him across her belly for a moment before sweeping him away for cleaning but Dr. Tarth had frowned and barked an order and the nurses took him as soon as the cord was clipped.

She knew no more than a few seconds anxiety though before she heard the sweetest sound in all the world, the hearty cry of their newborn child. One of the nurses turned and gave them a thumbs-up. She glanced up at Jon who was standing and had a better view as the nurses hovered over the baby. His face was lit up with a smile as tears streaked his cheeks.

“Sansa,” he murmured when he caught her looking up at him. “Oh, my God…” He nuzzled into the side of her neck and then kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she said through her own tears.

“Here you go, Mom,” the nurse said a few minutes later. “You can hold him now.”

Red and wrinkled with wisps of dark hair and a tiny face that was scrunched up in displeasure at all this newness at present, Eddard Snow gave a plaintive cry as Sansa took him carefully in her arms and held him close. He quieted at once.

Jon perched gingerly on the edge of the bed, looping an arm around her shoulders as they stared at this little person they had made together.

“Happy Birthday, Little Ned,” she whispered. “Our Valentine’s Baby.”

Jon chuckled. “Our little Valentine. We know he will be well loved.”

Sansa had to agree.

 

* * *

 

 

Ned was carried off to the nursery for routine tests and the nurses whisked Sansa away for a bath and to clean up the room. So, Jon made his calls to two exuberant grandmothers and asked them to spread the word to the rest of the family, save Robb.

He called his oldest friend and shared his news. Robb and Jeyne had had a daughter last year. When they’d discovered Sansa was carrying a boy, he’d asked his friend if he minded the name. He hadn’t.

He went downstairs to fetch some coffee and a bite from the cafeteria since Sansa was still under the care of the nurses. He passed by the hospital’s gift shop and chuckled to himself at all the red and pink decorations in the window for the holiday.

It had not always been his favorite holiday...not by a long shot. A few of them had been quite miserable. But, that had changed for good three years ago and today might possibly have topped that one even. And all of that was thanks to the woman he loved with all his heart.

He stared at the candy hearts and balloons on display in the window for several minutes and started feeling a bit overwhelmed with emotion in the middle of the hospital corridor. He scrubbed at his face and walked inside.

When he returned to the room, Sansa was nestled back in her bed. She was glowing once more. Sure, there might be dark circles under her eyes but she’d braided her hair, put on her own pajamas and was staring with adoration at their son who was wrapped up like a burrito in a blue blanket with a little white cap covering his head.

“You look radiant,” he said and his heart clenched at the smile on her face when she looked up at him.

“Oh, Jon! You’re so sweet,” she said, sighing with pleasure at the sight of the roses. “I bought you a card but it’s still at…”

“Sansa,” he laughed, “you just gave birth to our child. I’m 100% certain that beats the hell out of roses and chocolates.” Her cheeks flushed a lovely pink and she nodded. “Besides…I already ate all the mint cremes while I was having a minor panic attack in the gift shop over which stuffed animal to get him.”

He pulled the little stuffed wolf out of the bag and blushed as his wife cooed over it.

“He’s going to love it,” she said setting the stuffed animal on her bedside table. “But you didn’t really eat all the mint cremes, did you?” she pouted, peering at the box of candies.

“No, I did not,” he chuckled before kissing her forehead and then their son’s. “Just the caramels.”

 

* * *

 


End file.
